Solutionizer Syndrome: Why Fixing Everyone's Problems Is Making Your Team Weaker

The Hidden Cost Of Fixing

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, it is because you have solution shanked your way into the deep end. What it ends up doing is causing you to be hyperreactive, solve everybody's problems, be destructive and interrupted on the regular, and you have to stay late at the end of the day to finish your work because you've been busy fixing everybody else's crap.

Warning Signs Of Solutionizer Syndrome

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Let's talk about solutionizer syndrome. And here's some early warning signs if you struggle from the ever-elusive or ever-invasive solution shanking tendencies. So the first evidence of this is if you find yourself like solving every problem, anything that comes across to you that frustrates you and irritates you, and you immediately give suggestions, recommendations, solutions, and you're frustrated because nobody listens to you, right? Like I told them what to do, and they just don't do it. That's an early warning sign that you're heavily, heavily into the dissolutionizer habit. Now, the bad part, like when it really, really starts affecting your life personally and professionally, is when you find the people around you, your team, your family members, your significant others, you're solving all their problems. And even worse, they're bringing every single problem to you before they've even tried to do anything. And you're like, son of a gun, can you even like tie your shoes without me? Why do I have to be involved in every single damn decision you make? Uh, why can't you take any initiative and just figure it out, make a decision, make a call, and carry the thing forward? That is like you are in the you're up to your neck in this solutionizer syndrome or the negative impacts of it. Now, but I got some good news. I've got some solutions for you. I've got some things, I've got a mind shift and a behavioral shift that I have been using for myself because I am a recovering solutionizer. And I've been using it or leveraging it to help many, many construction professionals, construction leaders out there in the wild break their solutionizer habit so that their team members, their family members, important people in their life can have like start using their critical thinking, have more autonomy, and engage with their agency. Because ultimately, when we have individuals that can that leverage their agency, understand how to operate in autonomy, and utilize their damn critical thinking, we can do more and we can have

Who I Am And Community Invite

SPEAKER_00 2:38

more fun. My name's Jesse. If you haven't heard me before, I've spent many, many, many years, and by many, I'm gonna say over 30 years in the construction industry, with the majority of those years supporting and contributing to leaders uh and helping them be better at home and at work. So on and off the clock is how I approach everything. One of the latest, coolest, funnest ways I do that is through the construction leadership lab. And so if you're interested in these types of topics and want to connect with other like OG leaders that are actively working to build their skills, learn, connect, and grow, drop community in the chat and I'll get you hooked up so you come be a part of the crew. And if you have questions or objections, right? You got some experience that you use that helps you with this solutionizer thing, drop it in the comments. I'm happy to like let's tap into your knowledge and also I'm happy to answer any questions and field any objections. If you talk smack, I'm gonna ignore you. But you know, let's just get the chat going. So, again, one more time. The bad news is if you're in these situations, if you're experiencing any of these symptoms, it is because you have solution shanked your way into the deep end, and that is not a good place to be. What it ends up doing is causing you to be hyper-reactive, solve everybody's problems, be destructive and interrupted on the regular, and you have to stay late at the end of the day to finish your work because you've been busy fixing everybody else's crap. And yes, it is your fault. So I promised you that we were good going over two solutions, two approaches to make this thing better. One is a mind shift, which means how we think about the thing, and the other is a behavioral shift. Like, what is the action? What is the thing you can do so that you can start building the healthier habits so that you can uh build the capabilities of the people around you.

Mind Shift Feel Versus Solve

SPEAKER_00 4:35

And so let's start with the mind shift. I understand, like again, I know a lot of people kind of get I ruffle some feathers because people think I'm judging them. I have practiced, I am a notorious solution shanker. I have all the answers. I'm gonna solve your problem, I'm gonna fix it because it's efficient, because it's faster. But here's the issue I'm not really solving the problem. I feel like I'm solving the problem. And so that's the the mind shift. Like, really evaluate are you solving the problem, or you do do you just feel like you're solving the problem? And I'll give you uh let's add some color to that. When somebody brings an issue to me or their vent team complaining about something, they've got something that's bugging them. And I immediately jump into telling them what I would do, what I have done in the past, what they should do, where they should go. I that feels like I'm solving the problem. It feels like problem solving, but it's not. All it is is me making mouth noise, making suggestions and recommendations. The only way to know if it actually indeed solves the problem, or another way to think about it, produces the outcome, the individual, the problem owner, the person that's bringing the thing to you. The only way to know that we're solving the problem is that they actually take the advice, take the action, the recommendation, suggestion, go apply it, and it actually produces the outcome that they want. It is the production of the outcome that indicates or proves that you did solve the problem. And I know solutionizers like us, we flood them with all our uh wisdom and advice, and we never know if they actually went and did the thing. In a lot of cases, they'll go and do something entirely different, and it takes them longer and it's a little bit harder for them. You're like, man, but I told you. It's like, yeah, you did, but I didn't solve the problem. I just I'm convinced I feel like I'm solving the problem because I'm immediately jumping into action. And so the mind shift is to like really do a uh uh we'll say honest inventory with all of your solution shanking that you're doing. Have you really verified or vetted that you solved that problem in the moment? And I'm not talking about when you did it and applied it, it solved the problem for you, or it you know, alleviated or cleared the issue that you were dealing with in the past. That don't count. We're talking about the situation right now. They bring something to you and you just tell them what they should do, tell them what to do. Have you ever followed up and verified did you do the thing I told you to do and did it produce the outcome that you wanted? The answer has to be yes to both of those things to indeed verify that you solved the problem. Until you do that, you have not solved the problem. But here's what you did is you created a new problem. Because every time somebody brings you an issue, you have all the wisdom, knowledge, and advice in the world, and you give them answers and they go do maybe they'll go do it and it don't work out. Guess what they say? Well, I did what you told me to do. You told me to do this, so they don't take ownership of the outcome, right? They don't take ownership of the situation, which means you're creating dependency, which is a luke. They will continue to come back to you and bring you things, and you'll flood them and give them damn answers, and all of a sudden, this is the worst case. They're hyper dependent on you, they cannot make a decision because you have all the answers. You have made yourself the easy button for them. Now, I understand, I know there's people out there like, oh my god, yeah, but Jester, you don't understand it'll take so much longer to do the other things. Like, yes, I know it will take longer today, but in the future, as you continue or like as you refrain from shinizing and solution shanking people, they will become more independent. They will start using their critical thinking skills more, which means they will distract you and interrupt you less. And if you're not distracted and interrupted, you can get more done more faster. Like, that's the math. Try like if you don't believe me, try it out. I've done this with tons and tons, hundreds of people. Uh, and it it absolutely works. And I will also admit, it takes a lot of reps, it takes a lot of practice to adopt the mental shift of am I really solving the problem or do I just feel like I'm helping? Now that's the mental shift, the mind shift. You're not solving it, you just feel like you are, unless you're doing the extra work of following up and verifying that they did what you suggested and it produced the outcome you were seeking, you didn't solve the damn problem. So that's the check. Check yourself. Like all the people you're hitting, like showering with your wisdom and your omnipotent knowledge. Are they using it and applying it? I'm gonna guess no. And even if it's 50-50, that's 50% of your energy and time wasted. If you get 50% of that time back, I bet you could get a lot of stuff done. So it's not producing any benefit for you or for them, which takes us to the behavioral shift.

Behavioral Shift Get Problem Agreement

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Because this response, the solutionizer syndrome, is an instinctual response to things. Why? Because we for a lot of reasons, right? We think as a leader, as a manager, I need to have all the answers. I got to help my people, I got to make things happen fast. And so naturally, we're just gonna give answers and give solutions all the time because we know having a dialogue um and and digging into things a little deeper is gonna take longer and you already got things to do, blah, blah, blah. So I get it, like it's it's ingrained in us. So the first step, the behavioral change, the behavioral shift that I know works because I applied it myself, is to get agreement on the problem. So, what does that mean? I'll give you a few examples. Have you ever been in a situation where you're just talking to somebody, venting about a thing, just because you're talking, you're just having a conversation, and they start telling you, you know what you should do? You should do this, you should tell her that, you should listen to this podcast. Oh, there's this book I read that totally applies to what you're dealing with. That's the other individual solutionizing, they are solution shanking you, and it doesn't feel good, right? If you're delicate like me, it feels like they think I'm dumb. Like I don't know that I can access resources to deal with the thing. I was just talking, I was just having a conversation. I didn't even ask for advice or input. And so there's another, like, that's a big one when people start doing that, especially for me. Like, I don't want to hang out with them, I don't want to talk to them because they think I'm dumb, right? So it breaks connection between human beings. But more importantly, it's an example of we're not even agreeing, there's no agreement on the problem. I never said I needed I had a problem that I wanted help with. I never asked for advice, I didn't ask for input. They just decided to hit me with it. Okay. So, and you've probably been on both ends of that conversation. So, here's what I want you to do when you find yourself in that situation. It's easier to see other people do it than you. And when you start looking for it in other people, in other interactions where people are just automatically diving in and flooding people with all their brilliance, you'll know, like, oh, he's solutionizing. Oh, she just showed solution shanked him. And that's okay. Don't say it out loud because they're not gonna know what the hell you're talking about. But the

Ask Venting Or Help

SPEAKER_00 12:02

more you notice that behavior in other people, in other interactions, you'll start picking it up in yourself. It'll be after the fact, you'll solution shank, and then you'll say, damn it, man, I didn't even ask any questions. I just started giving them answers, giving them solutions. They didn't even ask for it. And that's okay because you got to be able to notice it so that you can do something about it and change that behavior. Um, and so here's the easy thing that I did that I'm gonna recommend to you behaviorally, uh, so that you can break your solcizer habit and you will be free of the syndrome. And it's get agreement on the problem. When somebody comes to you with an issue, maybe they're elevated, maybe they're frustrated, you can tell their stress. Ask them, are we are you venting or do you want help? Do you want me to give you advice about the thing you're working on? It's a simple question, and automatically it'll help the other person say, no, man, I'm just I just want to bounce some ideas off of you. Perfect. If all they want to do is bounce ideas off of me, we can have a dialogue and I like, oh, that sounds good. And what do you like? We can have a dialogue about it, but I'm not solving the problem for them. I'm supporting them in the manner that they want. And more importantly, I'm helping them engage their critical thinking, help them not forget that they do have agency over the situation. If they just want, nope, I just want to vent. I just need somebody to vent to. Awesome. Vent away. If you're venting, I am not going to give you any recommendations or suggestions. I'm going to listen to you and I'm going to ask you questions. And I'll probably like this usually takes five to ten minutes, not a massive amount of time. You spend more time on freaking Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube every day. So come on, man, you can do this. Now, if they do indeed say, I want help with this, now you have an entry point, you have permission to give advice, give suggestions, and give recommendations. Now, I'm also going to add, this takes us back to the mind shift. Just because I'm giving or you're giving them suggestions, advice, etc., doesn't mean you're solving the problem. But it feels really good because you're helping and they're receiving it and it's sparking ideas on them. And then they can go forward and make a decision or take an action to make the thing, make the situation better. Because I was a part of the conversation, they maintain ownership of the problem, uh, but I didn't take the problem away from them. I didn't solution shank them. So, yeah, does that create a loop of them saying, Man, I really want to bounce my ideas off of you? I like venting to you. Yes, it does. And that's okay, but you don't expend the same amount of energy that you would if you were giving them advice and getting frustrated because they don't take the advice and they don't uh apply it. And it also doesn't create dependency because in that conversation, when you do say, hey, time out, do you want advice? Do you want me to help you with this? Or are we just kicking ideas

Give Advice Without Taking Ownership

SPEAKER_00 14:54

around? Or are you just venting? When they do say, Yes, I need help, I don't know what to do. I'm gonna say, and I suggest you say this, okay, I'll give you some recommendations, but it's up to you to decide what to do and to take the action, which especially if you're like in a leadership role, you're managing teams, it's very clear like, bro, I got your back, but you gotta own this, you gotta take the actions and carry it forward, not because I don't want culpability, but because it is extremely important that my team member knows that they have the capability to solve the thing. I just gave them some other options, I just showed them a different perspective. So now I also know that there's a lot of people in our lives that we care about deeply and we don't want to see them suffer. And that's where the solutionizer stuff comes from a lot of times, is we just see people in pain and we want to make it better for them. That's just that's human. Not everybody's like that, but a lot of people are. And so if they weren't clear about whether you're having uh uh that whether they just want to vent, whether they actually want help, um, you can fast forward that by saying, hey, there's some things, this is what I do. Hey, there's some things that I notice, some things that are standing out to me. Are you okay with me pointing them out to you? I have an observation I want to share with you to see if you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing. They may not have asked for help, or rather, like specifically, if they haven't asked for help or said they have a problem they want my wisdom for, I will start that way. And I don't rarely do it, but I know I do it. Like, hey, I see some things. Can I share that with you? I want to point out some observations that are coming across to me that maybe you're not considering. That is a way of getting permission, right? Like, hey, I'm now gonna frame the situation. And if they say yes, I'm gonna say, okay, here are the things that I see. This is how it looks like it's impacting you. Do you want to do something about it? So I didn't solve it, but I helped surface a problem that maybe they're blind to. Ultimately, I mean rather, the more important point about that is when I say, hey, I see a thing. Are you okay with looking at it? Do you want to do something about it? I'm getting permission. And so the permission piece is a very big difference than just jumping in and saying, you know what, the other day I heard you, you've been talking about this thing all the time. You need to stop that and you need to start this. That is not getting permission. That is me solutionizing, solution shanking them, which had creates some maladopadjusted behavior that is not beneficial to you as the leader, the friend, the supportive ally, or the person that's dealing with the problem, the team member, the employee, the direct report.

Recap And Try It This Week

SPEAKER_00 17:36

And so, in summary, if you like this type of nerdy conversation, um, I hang out with a super, super solid group of construction leaders. All of them are committed to leaving the construction industry better than they found it. We hang out twice a week and you are invited. So if you want to have these types of conversations and tap into the knowledge of some other very accomplished experienced leaders, drop community in the chat and let's get you connected. And if you are suffering from the solutionizers or syndrome, you're frustrated with people because you give them advice, you give them the answers, and they don't take it and they don't do it. That's a problem. If you're surrounded with people that are hyper dependent, they can't make a decision, they bring you all their freaking problems and you're solving their stuff, and you still have all the rest of your damn work to do. You need to do the mind shift and the behavioral shift. Or maybe you don't need to do. Here's something to consider really do uh an internal inventory of are you really solving their problems, or do you just feel like you're solving their problems? I'm gonna guess you probably feel like you are more than you actually are. And the behavioral shift is this when the people engage, just set the terms of engagement. Are you venting? Do you want help with this? Are we brainstorming? Like, what's the context of this thing so that you know how to best support the individual in front of you? That's all I got. Appreciate y'all. Be kind to yourself, be cool, and we'll talk at you next time. Peace, chicken banana.

Subscribe Newsletter And Free Book

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Before you go, I want to thank you for spending part of your day with me. Your time and attention mean a ton. And it's because of listeners like you that this podcast even exists. If you enjoyed today's conversation, make sure to subscribe to the Learnins and Missteps podcast so you never miss an episode and you get extra credit if you share it with your friends. Also, if you want even more insights on leadership, personal growth, communication, you know, all those fancy magical things, you can sign up for my newsletter on LinkedIn because I got a newsletter that goes out every single Monday. All the resources I share there are designed to help you put yourself first so that you can leave this world better than you found it. There's also a digital copy of my book, Becoming the Promise You're Intended to Be. And it's sitting there waiting for you on my website. All you gotta do is do the click and do the download, and you get the free PDF. And if you want even more bonus points, share that PDF with somebody you know or the family of somebody you know that is currently struggling with self-destructive behavior. That would be the ultimate gift for me. While you're there, do some exploring of the trainings, workshops, and services that are designed to enhance your performance at home and at work. Just click the link in the show notes to check it out. Thanks again for listening. Take care of yourself, and I'll see you on the next episode. Peace.