We’ve all heard the term “starving artist” … In fact, it’s a phenomenon that often deters creatives from pursuing their talents and turning them into a career. Today’s guest has completely busted the “starving artist” archetype to smithereens and turned her passion into a lucrative full-time career.
In this episode, I speak with Barbie The Welder, an incredible sculptor, author, and skilled trades advocate who is “irreverently creating art for happiness”. Barbie has overcome so much in her life, from depression to addiction to homelessness, and talking to her was an eye-opening experience.
Listen is as Barbie vulnerably shares her life story while highlighting some of the most powerful lessons she’s learned from becoming a full-time tradesperson and embodying badass entrepreneurship.
What You’ll Learn in this Episode:
· How Barbie went from living on welfare, struggling with addiction and homelessness, to authoring six books as a full-time artist creating art for clients in 15 countries.
· Barbie shares why she’s grateful for the tradespeople she has learned from.
· The powerful role of thoughts and beliefs in pursuing creativity and creating the life you want.
· Barbie sheds light on her self-development journey: Warrior Training Camp & Learning to take time off and celebrate her successes.
· How to avoid burnout as a skilled tradesperson.
· Is there a difference between achieving and contributing?
· Our primary purpose here on Earth: To share the gifts and talents we have.
· Lessons Barbie learned from the painful missteps of entrepreneurship & Why “starving artists” aren’t reaching their potential.
· A simple trick for overcoming sadness and bringing joy into your life.
Buy Barbie’s books: https://amzn.to/3F2uwRl
Connect with Barbie:
Visit her website: www.barbiethewelder.com
Visit her Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/barbiethewelder
Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/barbiethewelder
Connect with her on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/barbiethewelder
Follow her on TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@barbiethewelder
To stay connected with us and listen to more episodes, visit www.learningsandmissteps.com!
Is there a difference but between achieving and contributing, Ooh, two different animals. If you ask me and she achieving is great , like me getting my goals. And I think achieving is a very selfish thing where contributing is service to others. oh yeah, that is Barbie. The welder super deep, really inspiring human being. Luckily I connected with her on LinkedIn and took a shot and said, Hey, let me, let me just reach out and see, um, If she'll come on the show. And, and she was so gracious with her time and she shared some, like, she shared some big stuff with them. You're going to talk about how she went all in, like doubled down, pushed all the chips into the center of the table to pursue her dream of being an artist and how she came back from like 35 bucks in the bank. Um, which for a lot of people that, that that's a scary proposition. And of course having come through such an arduous path, she she's learned some techniques and reached out to some resources. And so she shares her secrets, um, personal development and how she goes about, uh, celebrating her wins, which I think I got her on that one. And it was, it was fun to see her response. Oh, and then she gives, like, I don't know, I'm going to say it's a cheat code, like master cheat code on how to transform sadness into joy. And before I get out of the way and let y'all get on with the rest of the conversation, I got to give a shout out to our patrons who have been supporting us for a long time, have made significant contributions. , If you haven't signed It's okay. Cause I know you love us, hit up the website, learnings and missteps.com and contribute to the mission by clicking the button that says become a member click on that button. And joined the Patreon team. We would deeply appreciate it. And if you, you know, you hover too long, you're going to see a pop-up that's going to be guiding you to sign up for our monthly newsletter. So go ahead and give us your information and we'll send you out some cool stuff. And here we go. Miss Barbie. What's going on L and M family. Here we are with the celebrity Ms. Barbie, the Welder or how you doing Barbie? We're doing incredible. Thank you so much for joining at first, asking me to join you today. I appreciate that. Oh, it's like, I'm telling you, I don't know if you into fishing at all. So you ever go fishing, like you get the biggest one you ever caught. It just feels like I'm going to brag to the world. That's how I feel right now. Oh my God. Make me blush and I need to go. Yes, definitely. Definitely. So you're in east Eastern standard time. Where, where exactly are you in the country? Redneck portion of New York state. So I have to say it because as soon as I say I'm from New York, everyone's like, oh, New York. I'm like. You don't know why they are. So I'm in very rural. Like I don't get cell phone service here. There is a cornfield in my backyard. Like I wave at all my neighbors, very wonderful little dead end road neighborhood in the town of Aaron, New York. It's according to last census, I think we have like 1900 people. Wow. That is, did you grow up in that area or is that where you landed? I am about 15 minutes from where I was born. Give or take, but I used to come up here, like when I was a teenager, I started coming up to Aaron to like run away. Yes. Get some freedom, get some freedom and yeah, it just literally just, I love this town. Oh my goodness. And then you've got. I mean, we get to see like the, the, the dungeon, the place where all the magic happens. Okay. Well, I'm going to try not to embarrass you in, in gush and gush, because this is pretty cool. I mean, we connected on my self esteem. You got it. Then I'm going to bring it my failure. I'm literally like flushing. Yes, yes. Champion. We scored I'm in I'm actually today. I'm in Dallas, I'm in the hotel. home basis. San Antonio smash. Gosh, a little bit. Cause I was just in San Antonio, I think two months ago for formula one and literally. I went, I went and stayed in Austin. I heard all this amazing stuff about Austin. Really loved. Austin spent a lot of time. There got to go to San Antonio for like a day for like part of a day and fell in love. And immediately like I'm selling my house. Some of the house, like spring, summertime, and I'm moving south. Like I needed to be hot. I have like, I love New York. I literally have lived here all my life, but I I'm like, I want to ride my motorcycle all year round. I want to go fishing all year round. Like I don't have any snow stuff I like to do snowmobiling. I like it's fun, but I mean like you need a group of people, a long story, but I love the San Antonio and started looking for a shop in San Antonio. That is like one of the places that I'm dreaming about. But as an artist who sells art online, I can literally live anywhere. I just need a shop and I want a shop that I can live in. I'm not trying to do a house, just like no. Potentially. Yes, but I just want to look like I'm on a Barndominium. That's my total people out there. Like, if you want to look for like old firehouse, like an old gas station to something with a few days, like, let me know I'm looking at, oh, well, I thought I saw a post about that on LinkedIn that you were considering San Antonio. I'm like, oh, call me. Like I used to breakfast gets you some delicious breakfast tacos and maybe find some spots. I fell in love with the ceviche and margarita is man, I'm just food. The food is dangerous. You know, when I travel, I travel for work and I always feel like I lose a couple of pounds when I'm not in San Antonio, because I'm not eating the breakfast tacos and the tortillas that are like just straight up dangerous. So, so good, man. I got, I was foodie, like, I don't know a lot about food. I just know. I love doing. Like do not let my smallest size, like separately. I will. Luckily, like, I probably went into some eating contest and eat like all day long. So I was like, you hungry. I'm like always, always viewed me now. Oh, well, when you come to San Antonio, there's plenty of places to eat, like tons and, and it's the hole in the wall, mom and pop shops that have like the most delicious largest servings amazing service. Like that's where we got to go. So I'm like, that's my, like, that's where I like to eat. I don't care. What's on like the, the trip thing. What is it? Whatever TripAdvisor, like, I just want to talk to the locals and be like, where do you eat? Like that? That's how you find the yes. Ma'am. So you're a, an artist. You're a, for some of our folks that for, you know, the, the rare people that don't know who you are, you're an artist, you're a welder, a trades advocate author. What, what, what haven't you done? Oh my gosh. That's a, that's a good question. There's a lot of stuff I haven't done yet. I plan on doing Nice, dies, big plans. Always. I always dream huge because I feel like I ain't like, gosh, even if you dream huge and like you fail, like you still gotten probably way, way farther than have you either not dragged it all or you like, oh, it's like, oh, dream big. Like, nah, F that like dream huge. Like not like there are literally no rules, like just what we make up in our head and then live by. So when you start dreaming, like these super audacious, like dreams, like it's a polarizing thing, I think, which is fun because people are either like, you're crazy or like, hell yeah, go for it. I want to watch. So either way, like I'm having. You know, and gosh, was it PT, Barnum? It just like, totally like did audacious stuff. It was a very polarizing personality where people were just like that holding holy crap. He's crazy. But they still watch it, you know? Yes. And it's what spoke to him. It was what, what, what, like, we have a calling within us that says, let me out, let me out. And conventional thinking says, no, like let's follow the rules. Like, no, I want to color outside the lines. And like, embracing that seems like you've like totally just went all the way in and said, I'm gonna color outside the lines. And then bam, like you're living your life. Yeah. I draw my own lines and then I still call her out. I have to quote myself on that one. Like I do draw my own lines, but yeah, life is completely and utterly like what we think it is. And so. Just like, just by thinking huge, like you literally could just, I mean, I've done stuff that I can't even like, I living my life and still quite an awe of what I've done is it seems very surreal and unbelievable. I can only imagine I saw the recent post of yours where Luna was Luna, one of your sculptures. And I'm just like my good, like in my head it's it's like 30 feet tall. And then it was seen that you were holding. I was like, Mike, like it's. So how do you, like, it's amazing. It's beautiful. Like profound, how you can, how you do that. I it's blows my mind. Very blessed to have learned welding fabricating from a custom fabrication shop where the people who taught me. Well, they're so grateful for them to take their time, to share those skills. And that's how the trades are. It's people who are passionate, that are sharing their skills with other people. And it's giant family, very blessed with the people who taught me and the company I worked for had super high standards. They still do. They're very super high standards. And so it's humbling as it was when I first went in there and I was learning to weld and fabricate really had to hold myself to these super high standards, which I grew up with my dad doing that, which works cause he's a tradesman, they put me on really small, thin stuff. And so I learned to work with exquisite details in very small scale and have been able to take that to my sculptures, which Illumina is. I'm like I can do math. My outline is about, I'm going to guess. I think it like eight inches long. It's all like, or no, maybe it felt like if I was a stretcher, it should be like 12 inches, like a Barbie doll ish. The way, she's the way she's sitting or the way she's kneeling. I think she's probably like six or eight inches long and probably only like three or four inches tall at the most. I'd have to look at the measurements. Like I know, I know her because I'm like, I'm pretty sure she's as big, but I have a Wolf thing, like just have had dreams of wolves and like being protected by wolves and was very blessed to two years ago, go out and learn how to make a kukri with a friend of mine. That's a type of knife. He's a fortune fire champion, really a gentlemen raw Lim. And can I a pet Wolf? And I was blessed to be able to literally like run in a field with her. It was like living inside a dream. It was the most incredible experience and came home and sculpted, Lona just felt it. And like, I get inspired by stuff and like have to go and. When I feel this, go let it out. Oh man. That's a beautiful, so you brand has a Wolf as a pet because that's normal, right? That's regular for my friends. It is normal. Oh my gosh. I'm like the most eclectic, incredible friends out there. And that's normal for it's amazing. I mean, like who doesn't want that? In any way. Yes. I'm not, I'm not responsible enough to like take care of the pet. Full-time I have two kids. I'm still not responsible to take care of them. My kids are feral animals. They know this. I love it. It's like a chip off the old mom. Yes. Well, good. Cause we need more of that, right? Like we really need more of that. I think. I mean, I don't know you well enough yet, but we will when you come to San Antonio, but I feel like the energy of, of like free thinking and free spirit and connected with oneself. Like we give that energy, gives people permission to explore that and flirt with it just a little bit and kind of break through the restrictive suffocating rules that somebody else wrote that don't necessarily serve us. Well, we wrote that we heard growing up and that we literally just, our thoughts are literally are like, how do we create our life? Like, have you seen the movie? The matrix? Oh yeah. Okay. So I can definitely, like, I can vibe off of that. Like we literally create, like, we come up with these thoughts and they come from wherever and like, they literally like float through like clouds and we can attach ourselves to that thought or we can just let it float on by, but we tend to. Find all these negative things attach ourselves to that. Like I'm slow or I'm not artistic. I had that one, like most of my life, like, I didn't think I was artistic and you know, like making the stuff I do. And just literally, like that was a belief. Our thoughts create our belief, our belief. Like we look then for evidence of the song like, oh, I'm not artistic. This is just a thought that just forms in my head. It creates a belief because I've been holding this thought for a long time. And then every time I go to draw and I draw outside the lines, I'm like, literally I'm like, oh, because I draw the line because I draw the line. I'm not artistic, but that can literally mean you are artistic because you drew out of that line. But we've got this thought that that's a negative. So like we go through our life creating all these bullshit rules. These beliefs. So into existence. And then we live like through these thoughts and beliefs. So the thing is, I never thought about like making box for it. It's like, I'm super good at making box. Fours are amazing or pillowforts . It's like, I'm great at that. And those are arts. And the thing is because I looked at that picture because, or my handwriting, I really, and was like, this is my thought. I don't have good handwriting. Now someone else will look at it and go, oh my God, that's great. I look at it and I feel bad. Every time I buy something, I'll sign my books. I'm like, oh, I believe in you. And I'm literally looking at this handwriting. And just like, even though I know this to be true, like, like I can, like, I can slow down whatever, but I'm just like, oh, you've got bad handwriting and you're not artistic. Literally. It's just like this, like mumbo jumbo plays through our heads all the time where we're like, our brains are like these truth finding machines that are looking for things that prove what we're thinking to be. It just like this crazy downward spiral of like beta bullshit. We're living inside this matrix that we've created for ourself. And I still like, even though I know this actually to be true, I still, like, I still struggle with it sometimes where again, as I was signing books this morning and sending them out, I just like, I look at my handwriting. I'm like, I hope they can read it. And I get very judgey about myself. You're an artist. You ain't ready. You should look different every time. You're right. Like I need to come up with new beliefs for myself. That's the mental models that we subscribed to. And then we go around and confirmation bias. We find the evidence that says I am less than, and you know, on one hand, I think because I do the same damn thing, I always say I'm not creative. But I've discovered as a results of like social media and the podcast that I can do some kind of creative stuff and come up with ideas and people are like, what are you doing? That's crazy. Like, I don't know. I think it'll work and it works. Yeah, that that's like creativity, but I will tell myself you're all you're creating right now. You're creating words. You're creating thoughts. I mean, like we're all literally creators in the core is what we do. Even if it's a shitty life, we've created that, we don't see the matrix. Right. The matrix pulls a bowl down over our eyes and we were literally living in this world that. Our parents built for us because we're living in thoughts and beliefs from our parents that are with all due respect to our parents will love are outdated, or they were false because they went through whatever. Like all my mom's mom would pull her in by her hand and she's shopping and she's in a rush cause she's got, you know, roasted on the stove and she's like, hurry up, Judy are slow. You know, like hurry up. My mom takes away from that. I'm slow. And literally just the whole rest of her life believes it. And then maybe she pushes that on me. And I believe I'm slow because this is like the household. I mean like literally like with all due respect, like she goes downhill and we're, we're getting these beliefs and thoughts from our parents that may or may not be based in reality. It was based in their reality, but like they might've misunderstood at five years old. What, hurry up, stop being slow means. so here's like the counterintuitive. Is, we are living the reality that we created and then we're kind of imprisoned by it and not taking into account that we actually have the power to create the reality we want. It's kind of flipped. But I guess we got to take the red pill. It's absolutely perfect. And that's the truth. And it's a very, just plain, plain Jane saying that like, we literally make our lives and they get pissed that we had bad lives and forget that we literally hold the key to unlock the cell that we've created for ourselves. Like if you build this prison, then you can, you can get your way out safely. Literally, in real life, like went from being on welfare government, subsidized housing. I've gone through drug and alcohol addiction of at homeless a couple of times. Been arrested more times I can count on one hand oven kicking in two schools and one year of the school, the second one goes for the bad kids. Like from there to I'm authored six books, I'm an advocate for the skilled trades on full-time artist and have been for seven years. I've created art for clients in 15 different countries. I like, I've got like a laundry list of clients that will blow your mind. Like I've welded live and been on stage at like Sturgis motorcycle, rarely. I mean, just like, just tell ya. Well, did it seem as if you'd like her to say, oh my gosh, like just raise it. I have companies that they sponsor me and all from all that negativity. I mean, I spent three quarters of my life. More than that. I was allowing more than three quarters of my life. Like in depression, I've been on medication. I've gone through hospitalization because of. And I mean, like I was told that I would never go off of medication. I was told that I would always be in the hospital, like have gone through some shit. I made that life for myself, zero regrets. And I'm so grateful today that I've gone through all of that because I wouldn't be who I am. And it's was it fire a fire, a hardened iron, like walking through hell and like living in hell. I didn't even walk through. I hung out. I bought an apartment there, hung up the, hung up the race on the door and made myself at home for many years. And at the time didn't understand like the I'm the one that created it. I blamed everyone else for my life. It was all like, it's, you know, it's my ex's fault. It's my parent's fault. It's the kid's Dave's fault. It's this one. It's that one. Once I realized I made my bed and I was laying in it, I was the one who could get back out of the bed, remake it and delay that I really, really liked. Oh, yeah. And now you're thriving. You're flourish. I'm six books. Amazing art. I mean, I'm still looking at the pirates of the Caribbean thing in the books. What's his name? I keep forgetting his name. David Jones. I was going to say captain Jack Sparrow, because that's who I want to be when I grow up. Yes, yes. Such an amazing character. He is at first it was a little weird. He always watched kind of how he walked weird. And then I don't know, I read something and they were like, no, that was, that was kind of recognizing the, the amount of time he would have spent at sea meaning his balance was completely off when he was on stable ground. That's why he was always wobbling all over the place because he spent so much time at sea. I never thought of that in a million years. I always looked at that character as he never rushed, like, like I want to embody that, right? The sense of humor, the semi innocence, but also like the bad-ass Surrey, but he never rushed. And literally like a forest Gump is another one. Like that, those two characters for me, literally, like they leaned into what they felt was right. They went and they did what they, you know, what they wanted to do and things just worked out for them. They didn't have to force life. They literally like, especially Forrest Gump. My gosh, it just like became a millionaire. Multimillionaire helped so many people, he was loyal. He was loyal to a fault. He just kept us all. Like just no matter what happened, he kept his cool and just didn't rush. Deeply embodied who he was and life just kind of came to like the universe opened up and said, your wish is my command. Like both of those characters are something to look at as far as like, like I rushed myself all the time. I'm constantly done next, done next, done next taking time off is a huge challenge for me, even when I'm like, oh, I'm going to take this day off. I literally will sit there and social media and respond to people to like, there's a lot of, a lot of stuff that has to be done behind the scenes, but I find myself rushing. I'm just like, yeah, you need a Jack Sparrow today. Or you need to do a little bit of Forrest Gump on this one. And it's kind of like lead into these characters because there's, there is. And I, and I'm hope I'm not like pushing it on social media. I'm like, oh, you know, weld every damn day. And I, I do say that I do most of the time. But it's also like, and it's, it's learned for me to take, like, I'm literally forcing myself to take time off. It stresses me. I'm just like, oh, I could be moving forward. I can do this. I really have to lean back into that. Like taking time off thing. It's I love it. Unduly, frigging sass, like love is love is an understatement. Like I'm obsessed with what I'm doing, like happily and joyfully, like dancing around my shop on a daily basis. So half the, definitely lean into that that whole like Jacksboro and let me I'm just kinda forcing stuff all the time. So I'm curious. How do you celebrate, do you give yourself permission to celebrate? Oh, I was just talking with my coach about this Monday, which is, I think yesterday or maybe the day before. Gosh, it's such a good question. And thank you for asking that I do have to force myself. Like I started out by reading a ton of books, like educating myself, myself, and then when I was able to afford it before I was able to, before I started going to classes and seminars and meeting other people, the self-improvement journey and one of my favorite all time things and the biggest eye opener for me is when I went to warrior training camp. I was good at that one because that's who I am. It's like done next, done next and charge forward. And we had this exercise where we walked up this giant frigging mountain. We had teams of three people. And one lady wasn't feeling good. And they were like, if she like all you go where no one goes. And so I immediately went into like the whole bridge, we're going all this. Then we're like, ah, ah, I'm a bit like, sometimes like I like, like literally like just masculine energy and dislike go do have like conquered, like completely. I took this lady by the hand and drag her up. The hill is probably like the least nicest thing I've done for a human being. But also it worked out really well. The like the obsessive person that has to achieve like was like, look at like, if I have to put you on my back, we're gonna make it up this hill. Like you can do it. She was very grateful to you. And, but also like, I'm, you know, I've got her, I got another girl on, like, we're going off this. And I'm looking at my feet the entire time. It's just like next step. Next step. Next step, next step. And halfway off that lady is just like, no, I love it. And let him take breaks. I'm like, I swear, I have a nice person. Oh man, we stopped. She needed to take a break. I'm sure I did too. But like I looked up and it dawned on me like, holy crap, look how far we've come, how beautiful this is. Like it like, I'm so busy achieving and looking at what my next step is. I mean, like this was an eye-opener for me. I forget to stop and take a look around. It definitely represented the whole of my life where once I got my ass out of the, like all the negativity and stuff. And once I started this journey, I literally did. Notice to the grindstone, but when your noses to the grindstone, you don't look up and enjoy how far you've come. That was in 2018. I, that I had that realization also through another course, same, same group. I'm like, did this exercise from filling out all this stuff, like all this stuff, wasn't alignment. And then I hit fishing like on the list. And it was just like, like, why aren't I stood up in front of the class, like, like a hundred people. And I'm like, like everything's in alignment with like, this is what this one thing fishing is over here. And I just don't get it. And the lady goes, when's the last time you went fishing? And I just started balling like in front of it. I'm fine. I'm totally I'm like it had been, what years is 2021? It was 2018. So three years ago I've been full-time for four and a half years as an artist. I literally hadn't been fishing in like four and a half years. And she's like, when was the last time you took time off again, like me, like the whole entire, like they challenged me and then kept up with me. Like, you need to go fishing when you get home, you've got one box to go fishing. I did go fishing. And then hadn't gone again until this year. In which case? I thought, no last I went last year on one slate last year. So the very short answer that is, I really struggled with taking time off and celebrating my successes. I literally just got done finishing the masterpiece of all masterpieces, the tradesman, which is I haven't shown pictures. Cause we haven't unveiled India who took me five months to create enemy. We're like we're talking, I don't work five days a week. Like seven is good. I'd work eight. If I could fit it in there, I got work eight hour days. I'm like still 12 to 16 hour days. Like. But like literally finished it. And I did take my family on vacation was gone for 11 days. I drove for four of those. Cause I drove everybody almost I'm back in the shop. I'm starting to do starting another school, starting another school for like, literally it was just like, bam, bam, bam. Something I'm deeply aware of. I am forcing myself to take time off and to celebrate. I know damn well, like honestly, like if we want to look at the facts, like I will burn out if I don't take the time off. And so two years ago I bought a motorcycle, which I had one years ago and had to sell it to stay full-time as artists did some great motorcycle riding this summer, not half, as much as I would like to. I bought a kayak this year. Did get out fishing twice. And I bought a drum set, which I've not spent almost any time with and I need to go and play the drums. Like I'm working on finding these ways for me to like the drum set was a gift for myself. Like, Hey, proud of you. So finding ways to celebrate my successes I did like stop myself and went for a back massage the other day, which is my favorite, favorite things to do. Cause on shelf on my body. Yes. Yeah, I really need to do better job. That was the short answer was I went for a back massage. I definitely want to do better. And you went fishing a couple of times. Like that's a big deal. I, you know, I think the LNM family th that will absolutely resonate with them because a lot of us are that way. Most of the folks that listen are in the construction industry I know a hundred per as you're talking, I'm like, oh my God, don't ask me that question. Cause let's pass pass. Because we struggle. And in, as you were talking about, even we list these things of, of what you would love to do and you recognize my goodness. It's been four years since I've done this thing and the emotion that, that evokes, like, it's a real thing that we all struggle with now and, you know, use the word achieve. Right. And there's like more, more and more. And there's something within us that, that tells us we got to continue. Like there's no stopping. I too struggled with addiction and all the stuff. And, and when I was in that state, I didn't have any feeling like I didn't grieve. I didn't celebrate. I didn't long for it was complete. Numbness. Right. And so I don't know how to celebrate and I don't know how to grieve and I don't know how to be scared because it was, I didn't do those things for so many years. And so learning how to do that and making it part of the practice is a challenge in itself, but also something that's helped me. And I'd like your thoughts on this. Is there a difference but between achieving and contributing, Ooh, two different animals. If you ask me and she achieving is great like me getting my goals. And I think achieving is a very selfish thing where contributing is service to others. And so if you can do both, I feel like you were just completely not early winning at life. And I think the more you lean into that contributor. Like find a way that the things that you love can contribute. Like, man, like now you're talking about like that's game changer right there, but I got into art, like for completely, I don't say it selfishly. I just want to make art. It was all about me and today, like finding it all, like only taking commissions that honor other people honor myself and what I wanted to, because, you know, I want to do that. But like the last sculpture I finished is all about honoring the skilled trades and tradesmen. And it was just an incredible one. The one before that is first responders and firefighters. So I'm finding these dogs very blessed to be in a position where I get to pick and choose. I tell a lot of people know and it was fast. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Like when you get to. 'cause now I'm like, I'm literally only doing exactly what I want and there's no, like days of this, like, you know, I don't want to go to work because I don't look at all. I'm doing that because it's a paycheck. There's no more of that. Like I put myself in a position where I'm like this year coming up, I've got one that is for cancer center that I'm just so deeply excited to create because it's going to it'll serve others. And so when you can find yourself in a way, you know, your contribution, like writing books, like I literally didn't set out to do this, but it is, oh, what a blessing, what a blessing to be able to write a book and had like, cause it's like, I, you shit. And it's like, this was so hard. I'm like, how can I make sure that other people can thrive sooner? Whether that's good or bad? I don't know. Right. Cause it here, I think it's good. But maybe that hostel was really good at, you know, that forcing myself to, you know, push through all that fear. Like, maybe it's good. Maybe it's not right. The journey is like the reason why I turned into who I've turned into, you know, like that hardship, not knowing. So like here, I think I'm doing good by writing a book, but maybe it's just like, totally just like holding someone's hand and making it too easy. I don't know. I'm going to say for me, it's, it's good for me too, to know that you're doing that and understanding that we have some, you know, and that's the whole thing. Like human beings, we have more in common than we don't. And so hearing your story and the things you struggle with, I'm like, yeah, me too. And you're writing the book, I'm flirting with the idea of writing a couple of books flirting with it and started playing with that. Yes. I'm going to do it. Jump in with both feet. So super easy. And don't psych yourself out with the bullshit of like, oh, there's a hundred books on the subject. Like, no, fuck that. Like, you're you have your own complete and unique voice, your own incomplete, unique experiences and those hundred books, like there's, you know, they might speak to these people, but there are people out there that they will not speak to them. And you need to write yours because there are people out there, it will speak to an all have to speak to these people. And because you've gone through what you've gone through, like you are like, there are people out there waiting for what you have. It is way easier, which once you get doing something, yeah. It's a lot of. It's a lot easier. Are you worried about formatting the book? I'll hook you up with fiber. Like it's completely amazing. You're worried about your spelling. Don't worry. Spellchecker helped me with all my shit. There was some stuff I had changed words. The spellchecker couldn't help me, but I didn't know what a, what an index was. I didn't know, like the format of a book or anything else. I Googled all that shit for my first one. It is so, so easy. And if you need to kick in the ass, like messaged me and I'll give it to you. Is there a people out there that need your unique message? And that's that goes to everybody, right? Everyone's got a story. Everyone's got a message. I mean, every human being has a lifetime of experience. Oh. It gave me goosebumps it and we need to share that. And you know, we need to, on one end, we got to listen to it and receive it. But on the other end, as the person with the experience. Like it ain't nothing, it ain't going to hurt nothing to share my experience. So I am the book. One book is actually scheduled to release around Valentine's day. I got some help with it. But it it's kind of like help me. I'm going to do this thing in. And I got amazing people in my life that are helping with that. And you're on book number six. So you were autographing books today, which what's the title of this latest book? My most recent book is fuck you fuel how to turn shit into sugar. So it is available on Amazon. It's also available in my Etsy shop. If you want signed copies, go to Etsy bar to the welder, that safe, but it is literally about taking every negative thing in your life. Every person that's ever told, you know, I didn't want to try to hold you back, taking anything negative. Some of them sort of cut you off in traffic, taking all that and turning it into fuel to fuel your way to success. It's literally like my books are short sweet. And to the point it's, I think it's like 70 or 80 pages. It's like an hour and a half read, but it is literally, step-by-step how I took myself from being homeless, being a drug addict, being on welfare and government, subsidized housing and standing in a food line to, to feed my kids to where I am today. And like, literally just, I have to pinch myself on a daily basis and it just, I took all that negative, like abusive relationships, everything I took all of that. And I literally just had paved my way to success. Yeah, you have, and you're an inspiration to me and to all a bunch of people, especially, but like I got major bragging rights right now. Cause I'm like I was talking to Barbie. It was awesome. I'm telling you so good for me, I suppose. I don't know if I'm going to make it out of the shop and I've got a garage door. I might have to open that up. Love it. I'm here to help. So I saw a post you had made about you started in mechanics and a mechanic shop and I'm wondering, what were your earliest career aspirations as far back as you can remember? I want to start at the beginning. I wanted to be the first kid in space and actually wrote to a rope to the president and was like, I want to be the first kid in space. And they're like, eh, just don't come back in a couple of years, which didn't have, but like they had like space, camp and shit when I was a kid and I was just like, ah, I just never got. My second career that I bothered B is the first girl in the Harlem globe Trotters basketball trip, which they have since gotten girl. I'm so excited, but I played sports extensively as a kid, until I got into smoking at like 13, I started smoking at nine, but really got into it good at 13 and just like, got into like really bad depression and stuff and left sports. But I played basketball and played baseball and I was like, they didn't have girls teams back then. So I was like the only girl on the all guys teams for both sports for years. And then my dad was a diesel mechanic for the government. And so growing up. He always had me by his side, like when he did like a Jack of all trades. And so like when he did electrical for the house, like I would work with them and do electrical and hooking up phones and drywall and plumbing helped put the roof on the top of the, off the bedroom the one year I'm just like, I was never treated different because it was a girl. And so he just taught me all this stuff, which gave me confidence later on and it was time to pick a career. I just wanted to be an auto mechanic that was like, cars are really, really my first love, like trucks, anything with motors, motorcycles, tractors, lawn lawnmowers that your race, like, whatever, So there's a thing there that kind of surfaced now. A theme of like breaking boundaries and, and being the first and representing the underrepresented the crazy, we're still doing that bullshit in 2021 with technology and common sense the way it is. We're still talking about like women and the trainees. Like you shouldn't be like, why can't I just be a trades person? Like get on tradesmen. I liked the term tradesman and I'm not, I'm not politically correct. If you've already hadn't picked up on them. I'm a tradesman, like freaking proud of it. And like, I just so blown away that we'd got to know, oh, it's like the first black woman in this and why can't you just be the first person like, holy, like, I can't just be the person just mind blown at how labels man. Like I'm kinda over labels. Like let's be right. Let's just be kind to everybody. Try to raise each other. I'm the little Pollyanna when it comes to that shit, you know, I can't get along, man. We all like we're humans and we all just want to matter, like I want, when I'm talking to people and they give me time focus and attention, like, that's the ultimate gift, right? Like, let's, let's do that. You know, all the other things I there's value there. I mean, I know, you know, I have a beautiful tan, so I'm Hispanic and there are some responsibilities that come with that for my family and, you know, behave yourself because I'm representing like the entire race and like that's a little much. Sure. So like so interesting. So like why, like I love the, I do deeply, deeply love like the pride in heritage. Like deeply love that. And I feel like, like, I think that every damn heritage has it, except for Caucasian people. I'm like, this is not like I was in I was in Chicago for fab tech and they had a good job. I'm going to get myself in a lot of trouble with the, was it Mexican new year, Spanish, new year. I'm horrible. Don't judge me on that. But like I freaking login and there's so much pride there and like, they've got like little kids and waving flags and just shut the whole street down. And I'm just like, I love it. That was just so wonderful. It could be a part of it. I'm like dosa bay sauce, please. It's like, I don't freaking know. And I'm just like, I just love that. They're just so damn proud of their heritage. I'm just like, I don't know. I mean, I live in a, an Irish name. A little tiny bit Irish. I thought it was a lot more Irish than I was. Thank you. Ancestry.com for clearing that up. Ramma found out, you know, like there's just not that I believe in that, but also like, and that's the, that's the thing, right? People assume that I know the history behind single they mile or that I know the history of what, like I'm in San Antonio born and raised, lived there all my life and we have the battle of flowers parade and there it has something to do with the independence of Texas and Mexico. I don't know why, like I don't, I read people like, so sign me to seek out for whatever holiday that you got that. So like, if it's there to celebrate your people like invite me because. Yeah, just, I love people and I love to celebrate human beings and just like Cazale so yeah, I just, I love the celebration. I love the pride of who people are. Like, I love that. still shocked that we're so damn separated as, as human beings. Like I just don't get it. Agreed. And that's the thing is the divisive thinking the divisive language is it's just, it's louder than anything else. And unfortunately it just seems to keep growing and I'm all about like, let's, let's hang out. Like you said, you got it, you got a holiday. Let's go celebrate that. I tell them, tell me how to celebrate and like, tell me how to help me. No. Like I just, I love human beings. And so how can I honor my fellow human beings, my brothers and sisters, and I write on social media. I do like, hello brother. I love you. Or my beautiful brother or my beautiful sister. I call everybody that. And I don't care if you're purple, green, blue, or yellow. Like, it doesn't matter to me. It's like, we we're all in this together. And together we ride, you got it to get that. So the there's a, I saw a post with wolves on it and I can't remember exactly what, what stood out to me is to go fast, go to go fast, go alone. But to go far, go together. I'm Sam girling. Now this is awesome. I've never heard any, like you're speaking to me with the wolves, like. Fuck. Yeah. Oh, that's intense. I really like that. And it's like, that's, that's so true. Yeah. I just, I want to bring as many, like, I'll cry. I'm on this mission that like, again, like when I started out, it was just very selfish and like, not like, not intentionally, but I'm just like, I just want to make art. And it was all about me. And as I've pulled myself out of depression, as I've built myself, as I built my business, like happy accident, like a grow myself into someone like I'm in love with myself today. And now that I know, like there's just such a massive dislike just night and day between who I used to be and who I am today. And I freaking want that for everybody. I just want to, you know, like how can I help everybody? Like, understand that, like you create your life. If you're not happy, you can change that. And I fucking love you. Like as a human being, like, I love. I want the best for you. I wanted like, that's why like writing the books. I'm like, I started out by teaching how, you know, teaching other people how to make the art, because it was such a though, like, that's why I felt good about myself is because I learned, like, it wasn't like poor me, poor me inside here. It was, how can I turn that mindset from like, oh, poor me. I'm, you know, I'm a single mom and I'm always like an ex-drug addict, X, this I like, oh, you got beat up by your boyfriend, all this stuff, like, was this, all this negative stuff. And when I stopped doing that and just turned to, how could I make this sculpture? How can I make? And it wasn't sculptures to begin as I was just, I couldn't stop together. But as soon as I learned, I wanted to teach other people because it made me feel good to do this stuff and I wanted other people to feel good. And it just turned into like this massive, like, to just, gosh, I don't even know, like this, like this little Barbie movement that I've got going on over here. And I'm just like, how can I show as many people as POS. It's possible. We could, if I could do it. So Camille and just, I want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to feel free. I want everyone to feel love for themselves. And like, maybe that's selfish too, because I'm like, I want this real and this, I remember a friend trying to, oh God, it was like right after I was out at first out of the hospital, I didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out. Like literally in like this zero bedroom apartment. I had my oldest son at the time. It was just the two of us. And I had just gotten him back because I literally like given him to my mom and dad, because I was just such deep, fucked up spot with drugs. I'm just like, I know it's not good for him. Like go, you know, go live with grandma and grandpa. And very soon after that, like I won't get, I was already homeless at the time, but I did. Cause it was, I had just gotten out of the hospital, just gotten is like zero beds. I just got my son back and the closet was a decent size walk in closet. We were literally like, we're taking turns, sleeping in the closet. They have privacy because there was no bathroom. And I remember my friend being over there and she like wanted me to get a TV and I'm like, we don't need the TV. We have everything we've ever needed. Like for me, like day or the day of apartment was a lot. But she saw like, she saw that I deserved more, like at the time, like my mentality was literally like, I'm like, oh, we don't need anything. But it was that inner belief I didn't deserve to have. And so I'm over here, like just not wanting for myself and she's on the outside and wanting more for me because she could see that I deserve more. And you know, in her mind deserved by having the TV. And I'm just like, ah, you know, I don't deserve it. And it's like, I feel like, like where I am today, family. I want everyone to MTV. Yes. I can see that you deserve great things. And like, it's just getting people sometimes. Not F1. It just, it's such a weird, like a weird analogy, because like I could see it in my head. I'm like trying to think of how to say this. What what's coming across is our primary purpose in on this rock is to share the gifts and talents that we've been blessed with. And what is obvious to you is not obvious to everyone. And the combination of those things compels you to share the gifts and talents that you've been blessed with your experiences to help people discover the same thing. And it, the TV, right? The TV is a beautiful anchor. It's not the TV that I want for you. It's you the self-discovery of your amazingness that you want for people? Oh yeah. And that's it too. It was like, you just said, we're like on this rock. I mean like, you want to talk about. So we get, I get road rage. I'm doing so much better. I actually like, I did that whole trip and didn't get it the whole label. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm on a new path. Right? Like, like literally it had road rage, all my freaking life and driving down, like I long story, but you literally will have someone cut you off in traffic and then spend the rest of the day, like feeling about it. But you don't stop and think about the fact of the odds of us being born on earth. And I don't know the science behind it. We'll talk to 'em. One of my favorite human beings ever, which we haven't hung out with yet, but we're going to Neil deGrasse Tyson. Oh, he doesn't know it yet, but he is my very best friend. Like love this man. The odds of us being born are just insane. Right? Like just, and then the fact that like, no, if you're in the United States effect that you're here, the freedoms that we have, but also we're on this planet that is literally like flying to the F. We can't like, we can only see so far, we don't know what other dimensions exist. Like just the fact that there's like the perfect storm of like, we've got oxygen to breathe. We've got water, we've got nutrients like that. You know, that the earth literally makes like oxygen to the trees. And like, there's this underground network of the mushrooms, like the talk to each other. And like we're pissed about dumb ass. Just the fact that we're here, like I'm breathing right now. I don't have to think about it. My hands are moving. I don't have to stop and think like, move your arm out, move your arm back, scratch your nose. I mean, just like the, the miracle that we are, and it's just such an understatement, the miracle that we are. And if we just bull hill, we literally are created is going back to our first, like the first ever we are literally creating this life. This is thought just. The thought just flies by, in my head, like a little cloud, beautiful white cloud, a warm sunny day. It just goes through my head and that thought goes by and it's like, oh, you know, you, you know, bad handwriting Barbie and you're, you're more on. Yeah. Like you're just Dom because you can't get your handwriting good. And like, I can either like, hold on to that little cloud and just like, nurture that thought, keep it, keep it from my, you know, feed it, being bigger. Like just, you know, or I can just watch that cloud go by just such miracles that we're, we're even here. I mean, it's like, it gives me goosebumps, you know, here we are like, you're in Texas and I'm in New York and we're talking and we're very new best friends now. And Like you're on this screen. I mean, like I remember programming dos in the computer age, myself. I want me to age myself. Our first computer was in for a green screen. It's three lines attacks for it to go to a little Barbara. Well, I mean, just like the hell we're miracles. Yes. We can literally like, we are our own creators and here we are like pissed and all of a sudden dude cutting us off in traffic with this freaking Corvette. Yes. I think there's so much more out there to be joyful over and we let ourselves Rob our own joy. So here's here's a fun question. What is a significant learning that you've had as a result of a painful misstep? That I'm a business owner as far as And time for the commercial break. Yes, we are pulling out the, the answer to this glorious question. And not sure if you heard, but these backstage passes are available to everybody. Now just go to our YouTube channel learnings and missteps, and we've got a playlist out there just for you that compiles all of these backstage passes. If you've already gone to our website and hit the, become a member button, You will be getting a message from us with early access to the wisdom. Our awesome guests has bestowed upon us, uh, for the rest of the folks that are still supportive. Don't worry. You'll get it. You're just going to have to wait just a bit. Thank you all for listening to the show and for spreading it out there, our numbers are going up. Our reach is growing. The impact we're having is expanding. Uh, love you guys. And here we go. Rest of the show. That's where I literally like, that's where like you go up, like you're pushing that Boulder up the hill and you're pushing and pushing it. And all of a sudden you finally reach the top passive income. That's where it just started snowballing. It's crazy. I'm excited was excited. Okay. So final question, because I love talking to you Barbie about it. It's just, okay. I lied. I have a SAS. Oh. You know, I folks like us, I refer to as the afflicted, like, oh yeah. She's one of them where we are the afflicted. Oh, more because it's such a negative word. But when you say affliction to me, I'm just, like I say, obsessed and people think I'm sassed as bad. I'm so joyfully, afflicted and obsessed with what I'm doing that I literally just want to hold everyone's hand. Like just, I want to hold everyone's hand and just be like, come with me. Cause this is this. Oh man. The just like pulling the curtain back and like look at how freaking amazing it is over here. Like, this is yours, this is yours. It's like the garden TV. Like this is all yours. Just get to walk with me, come hang out and let's just go be awesome. And so that's, that's like the question right. Is what footprint do you want to leave on this world? Oh, I, I want to leave a legacy. Like legacy is like for me. How will you make people feel when they're around you? And that's whether they're on social media or in person, my legacy is all about, I want people to feel great about themselves. I want to, I want people to see their, their power, their strength, their beauty, like, you know, their, their creativity. It's for me, I'd like, my legacy is all about how people feel when they've been around me and also see that people feel better because I was in their life. the few, maybe less than a couple of hours that you've been in my life. I absolutely feel better part of you. I really do. I feel like motive, like, man, this is, this is. It's going to happen. Like, I feel like it's going to happen for me and the people that are in my space. We're going to get there. We're going to see the secret that you've unlocked. And we're going to contribute and make people feel important and valued. Your amazing. Yeah. It's so simple, man. Like being kind to someone else, like the simplest, like if you feel bad about yourself, this is, I can like my favorite thing. If you feel bad about yourself, if you're depressed, I challenge you to get off the couch and go and stand in front of any store that has a door that you have to hold. Cracker barrel is a great one because people like go stand at cracker barrel is every town's gallon, but I guess he'll hold the door for people. Just go and stand there, hold the door. You don't even have to go into the, if you don't have any money, you can just go and hold the door for people and just tell him, have a great day. I mean like it's just such a simple, simple. But I guarantee you like it might suck at first you're armed, you started effing cold out, hate the cold, but go do it and just smile. Like that's another thing to go walk through a store. And it sucks because everyone with their masks don't let me get started on that go. And if you've got to wear a mask to be in public right now, it's new, York's off their fucking rock, but whatever. So make eye contact with people and smile or even older, they've got this, like they've taken this from people which I think is shameful for whatever. Well, we won't get on that, but go look at eye contact and smile at people. It changes your physiology and it will change their physiology. And if you've got physically take them to be like, Hey, okay, maybe not do that part, but just smile at people. It feels so good. It will literally change how you feel about yourself by going to serve other people. I learned that by accident, as far as like, when I look at the, this is my business, apparently my businesses back here, this is my. National symbol for during my journey, I found out by accident that serving others makes you feel good. So it's a selfish, unselfish thing. I'm feeling bad. I'm like, how can I serve people? Because I know I'm not men. So I've been to like, oh, poor me. This is great. You know, whatever, whatever, how can I go from that? Poor me to, how can I, how can I serve other people? It is just such a massive, massive game changer though. On social media. If you don't want to leave your house, you want to sit in bed, go on social media, go on LinkedIn and go find people who are posting nice stuff and go down and then look at the comments and find people who've said something nice. And just be like, how are you brother? How he asked us to, or I appreciate you, or I love this find nice thing to say about other people. Like it literally will change like a challenge. You just to go and do or say something nice to people. It's just, it changes you, you might stop someone from committing suicide. It's just so damn. Simply have no idea what other people are going through it, as bad as you feel. And especially now in the holidays. Oh my God. Go hold the door. They'll make a positive comment on someone's social media. Go smile at someone in the store. Those, those three things. I challenge you today to go and serve your brothers and sisters. That was one inspirational conversation. I wish Renee was able to be a part of that conversation I think Barbie would have just put all kinds of wind in his sails and help. Uh, I believe in himself, but I'm sure he's going to be listening to this. And now we're going to give our shout out and I'm excited to shout out Ms. Amy Campbell connected with miss Amy on the 5s in relationships livestreams. And since then, she has continued to support the effort. And she's a firm member of the no BS tribe. And she left us this feedback. She says, I came to the learnings and missteps podcast and no BS with Jen and Jess due to a professional relationship. I don't do much on social media these days, but I do like to check in on LinkedIn. I saw that Thomas Lamay shout out to. Was participating in a discussion focused on using 5s methodology in your personal life on a Saturday morning and decided to check it out. Boom, mind blown. The people who attended showed up real talk stories, vulnerabilities, sharing, inspiration on making an impact in our day-to-day lives. That discussion, breathed life into me and reignited a spark within myself. Alright, I've just, you know, like straight up, I just had to read that again to, to pump up some energy and give me some confidence going forward. Amy, thank you so much. And since then Amy's joined us on our after parties on our clubhouse calls. So Amy so grateful that you were willing to share that feedback with us and gave me permission, uh, to, to shout it out on one of our shows. And I'm looking forward to learning more from you, miss Amy and to the rest of the L and M family, please. There's a bunch of stuff we got going on. Feel free to follow, contribute, listen, critique all of it, or one of them. Um, we love your support. Thank you for being there. We would not be where we're at without you. So be cool. And we'll talk at you next time. Man you are one dedicated listener, sticking with us all the way through to the very, very, and please know that this podcast dies without you. And we invite you to share how the episodes impacting you along with your thoughts, questions, and suggestions. You have been gracious with your time. So we added social media links in the show notes to make it super easy for you to connect with. Be kind to yourself. Stay cool. And we'll talk at you next time.