Break the Hyper Reactivity Loop: The Weekly Planning System Every Construction Leader Needs

Rushing Signals Overcommitment

But I promise you that there are people around you, managers and executives, that see that behavior of rushing and skirting back and forth and always kind of frazzled in a rush. And that does not communicate competence. What that communicates is overcommitment and an inability to set boundaries. If you're tired of rushing around, being double booked, and struggling to say no to things, this session is specially designed just for you. We're going to go over two of the time management techniques to put in your toolbox. And these techniques I've used for a few years now, and they've helped me go from frazzled to focused. And that's exactly what I want for you. I'm Jesse. And my overall mission is to leave the construction industry better than I found it. And I need your help. And this is why we're going to be going over these two things. One is, I in my brain, I call it book your week. And the second is mental presets. And so these two things are designed, or rather, put these two things to practice. And what you'll find is you have more bandwidth to think and invest in your gifts and talents. And that's important because the more you invest in you, the better able you're going to be to serve others and contribute to my mission of leaving the construction industry better than we found it. And so the title of the show, I couldn't come up with a better one, is how to break the hyper reactivity loop. And the key, or maybe the operative terms there is the reactivity, hyper reactivity, meaning if you've ever been in a situation, or maybe you have friends that are in this situation, where like, oh my God, they're like sliding in right on time. The meeting starts at seven, and they're sliding in at 7.01. Like, oh my God, I'm so sorry to late. I don't mean to disrupt you, but I had the and I got a hard stop because I got to go to the next thing. That to me is the number one indicator of uh-oh, you are overburdened. You got way too much stuff on your calendar, or probably just in your head. And these methods will help solve that. And so let's start with booking your week. The question is this when do you lock in your week? And so for me, my day is Sunday, right? I Sunday afternoons is when I sit down and I go into my calendar and I start populating, filling in space, committing to doing the things that I need to do or that I want to do, right? Whether it's learn something new or fulfill a task that or fulfill a commitment that I've already said, yes, I'm gonna show up to the meeting, I'm gonna do the presentation, I'm gonna come and do training for your organization, whatever it is. What I do on Sundays is if I have space in my calendar, I go and fill that out. And so you may be thinking, like, what do you mean if you have space in your calendar? Uh or you may be thinking, is it just the the old boomers that use calendars? And I'm gonna tell you this if you're not like uh obsessive about working using your calendar, that's okay, no judgment. Back in the day, day when I was like actually working and putting my hands on tools and doing installation and stuff, I didn't have a lot of things to manage because my boss told me what to do. But as I progressed in my career, I had more things to manage, I had more uh more projects to manage, more people to manage and support and develop. I had more things involved in the community locally in the industry. And so my calendar, using my calendar became ultra, ultra important. And so the one thing I want to take, I want you to take away from that, especially if like you're new in the in the industry or new in the workforce, is maybe you don't use your calendar very much at all. Start using it. It is a skill that will help you accelerate your career or prep you for when you start getting more responsibility. Now, for the rest of the folks that got the highlights like me, that have been at it for a while. I want to share my screen and kind of just give you a visual example of what I'm talking about in terms of blocking in my calendar. And so I'm gonna show you my personal calendar. So this is my work calendar, right? This is next week, and so you can see that I've got some big wide open blocks in here. Now, one key point to think about, or maybe go back into one of the previous live streams is I have a daily limit that's a separate subject that we'll talk about. That you can go back and rewatch that, or maybe drop in the DMs or in the comments there. Like, what do you mean daily limit? And I can give you the link or whatever. Anyways, my daily limit is seven tasks per day. So I'll go in here and I'll say, looking at Monday, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Okay, so I'm booked for Monday. Then I go into Tuesday, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Oh, I'm overbooked, but most of that is traveling because I'm flying to the DFW next week. Uh, Wednesday, I got one, two, three, four, five. Oh, so I only have five things on my calendar. So I will plug in two more things that I have from like my backlog and my to-do list or things I want to learn or whatever. And I just do that every single day. I go through Sunday afternoon. I say, okay, do I have seven? Am I booked? Am I overbooked? Um, if I have less than seven activities already per day for for this particular day, I will plug two things in, which I know it probably seems a little like, come on, Jess, that's weak sauce. But here's the power of it. Because I like to say yes, I like to play, I like to be out there involved with people, engaged. And when I get invited to do things, I want to say, yeah, let's go, let's hang out. But locking in my calendar, booking the week every Sunday sets me up to say time out or no. Because technically, I can respond to one of those offhand requests of, hey man, you got can we we want to do a thing? I got a live stream. Can you help me? You want to brainstorm? Like whatever that is. Now, I know my work's a little different because I don't have a real job, but it sets me up to say, I do want to be involved in that thing. I do want to collaborate on the thing. Yes, I would love to have an introductory call so we can get to know each other, figure out how we can work together. How about next week? Because this week I'm already booked. Now, some people say, Yeah, but you're only planning seven things. I'm like, Yeah, I'm only planning seven things because you know what? Life happens, and there's always things that come in, and it always ends up being way more than seven things that I accomplish in a day. But the main point is by locking in, sitting down and building the habit to lock in my week, it helps me feel good about saying no. And that's the challenge, right? That's why we end up double booked and overcommitted and scrambling around and running and sprinting from thing to thing, just crossing our fingers. Oh, oh, please, I don't need a red light because if I get a red light, I'm gonna be late and all the things. So the question to you is when do you lock in your week? It doesn't matter what day of the week it is that you do that. Some people like to do that sort of thing in the morning. My recommendation is just pick a damn time, whether it's the weekend, weekday, morning, p.m., afternoon. I don't care. But the point of blocking out that time, it takes about 30 minutes for me to sit down and say, okay, what am I doing this week? And plugging in the things because what happens is that I go into Monday and Tuesday, people are reaching out for kind of last-minute things or I'll say unplanned requests, and I can say with full confidence and and full honesty, no, because my week is already booked. Now, here's a little cheat code. If you don't like saying the word no, don't worry about it. You can present it a little differently, right? And we'll go over a couple of bonus things um at the end in terms of what are you gonna let in, like, right? There's sometimes there's some things that you just can't say no to. So we'll talk about that at the end. But some of the cheat codes or the mental presets, which is the second point we're gonna talk about, that I've built into my operating system. That again help me still be available or at least help me not seem like a big fat jerkhead for saying no all the time. Um, go back to my mental presets. So, for first, the foundation is let me set and lock in my calendar for the week. Maybe, maybe for you it's the month. I like to do the week because it gives me a little more flexibility. Now, once I've locked it in and somebody hits me up and says, Hey man, I got this thing, you want to go to dinner? We got the guys are getting together or whatever, whatever. I get invited to do something, or it's a work request or a work order, like people are gonna make me do it. I can with confidence say, How about next week? Would you hate me if we didn't do that, if we didn't meet until next Wednesday? And I'm gonna tell you right now, the majority of the time, people are like, Yeah, that's cool. Like, hell yeah, that's that's even better. We'll have my more time for it. And so instead of saying, No, I'm busy this week, I will say, Yes, I want to do that, but I'm not gonna be able to do that until next week. Is that too late? And so that opens the conversation because I really do want to do it, but it helps me keep from overloading my calendar, which is gonna make me stressed and unfocused and scattered and frazzled and all of those things. And that's not what we want. And I'm gonna tell you right now, maybe you feel like you're super productive because you get so many things done and you're rushing around and you're, you know, coordinating all the little things, putting all the chess pieces into place to knock out a bazillion things, and you feel like you're ultra effective, ultra um magical and super duper make it happener. But I promise you that there are people around you, managers and executives, that see that behavior of rushing and skirting back and forth and always kind of frazzled in a rush. And that does not communicate competence. What that communicates is overcommitment and an inability to set boundaries, and so adopting this practice, baking it into your thing. And yes, you can use it with your family, you can use it with the kids, right? And I've highly recommend if you have kids, I've never done this, but I highly recommend that you start this practice because they'll learn it and then they'll set the boundaries so that they can better manage their time. And more importantly, when they show up to things, they're 100% focused, fully present, and available to serve in the manner that they're designed to serve, just like you. And so the mental presets very simple. Somebody comes up and asks you or invites you to something. One is, would you hate me if? Meaning, would you hate me if I said no? Would you hate me if we didn't do that until next week? Right? That's a little playful, but one to have in your back pocket. Another one, is next week too late? Like, is next week out of the question? Like, I understand I want to be a part of that, but if I got it to you on Monday or Wednesday or Thursday, is that too late? Well, I missed the opportunity. Again, you know what it helps you do is communicate. Yes, I'm interested. And no, I'm not rejecting you, but this week I'm already booked. What about next week? And that gives them the opportunity to say, hell no, I need it today. And then you get to decide, like, oh, okay, well, then let me figure it out. Now, another one that I know is not as attractive, depending on who it is you're interacting with, is let me check my calendar and get back to you. Now, I absolutely do not recommend that you use that one with like your buddies, the people that you know from back in the day, back in the hood, because they're gonna give you a whole lot of hell about that. Like, oh my God, you're so fancy now. I don't tell my friends, let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you because you're just gonna roll their eyes and give me hell. But in the professional space, there when there's this sort of thing that comes up, I say, Yeah, let me let me check my calendar and I'll get you an answer by whatever date. They're like, hell yeah, awesome, no problem. They don't have a problem with it. Now, the main point here is having these mental presets in your mind, right? In the way you function in your operating system, helps you when that opportunity comes, default to say, instead of just saying, Yeah, yes, I'll be there. Yes, what time? Sure, I'll work on that right now. Which the all that does is create stress for you. And here's the stinky part not only does it create stress for you, but whatever it is you deliver, whether it's your presence in the room or the quality of the work that you're kind of just jamming in because you were already booked, busy working on stuff, the quality of that experience, the interaction and the deliverable is it is less than what you can actually deliver. And so for me, that's the super, super important part. Like, yes, I know this is comes across as a very rigid system, but what it does is it sets me up to bring as much of me as I possibly can, be fully present in the moment and available to the human being in front of me, which has massive value. It is way more valuable than me being the busy guy that does everything you ask within the next two or three minutes. Another thing, just know it's this is something to really, really chew on. If you're stressed and overloaded and you're scrambling around all the time and irritated because you never have time and all of the things, you're not alone. We've all been there. That is largely due to the way you've conditioned people to treat you. The reason they bring all their little problems to you, all the invitations, all the last-minute crap to you is because historically you said yes and you delivered for them. Now, depending on where you are in your career, sometimes you just got to do that, and that's life, right? If you want to advance, do it. You spend more time working, you're gonna build experience, you're gonna build credibility. Fantastic decisions to make. Sometimes you're doing dumb stuff, and it doesn't have to be done today. I'll give you an example. There was one time my boss had given me this thing, he wanted me to write a white paper um and for for uh a training program that we were launching that I was responsible for. But he said, Hey, we need a white paper so we can communicate this out and like, oh, I didn't even know what the hell a white paper was, and so I start writing something, and then I'm edited like right there, right after he asked me, I started doing it. And man, I spent, I don't know, two hours editing it, and then I added some images and I got super fancy and kept on and kept on and kept on. In the meantime, I had other work that I was already committed to doing that was due, and so I finished the stupid white paper and I send it to him, and he's like, Jess, I don't need this much. All I need is, you know, what's the a paragraph of description, three bullet points, and the date. And I spent two hours doing that thing, and I said, Oh, I just spent two freaking says, and take your time, I don't need it until next week. And so that wasn't on him, that was on me, because I'd never said, like, okay, can I do it next week? Right, I just said yes and I jumped into it. Now that's just one example, but other people would bring me their crap. My team, my guys would come and dump stuff on me, like, yeah, yeah, I'll get on it, yeah, yeah, I'll get on it. And so when did I do my real work? I didn't do my work until 3, 4, 5 p.m., which made my days extra, extra long. Because that was a result of me conditioning them to treat me as if my time didn't matter. That was my fault. How did I fix it? I started booking my week and I started tinkering, experimenting with my mental presets. So if you just got on the live stream or on the replay or whatever, the two things to do so that you can go from frazzled to focused. Number one is book your week. Pick a day out of the week, block out some time, and every week, at that time for me, it's Sundays at 5 p.m. I sit down and I look at my calendar for the week. I already have limits of how many tasks I'm gonna take on per day because I know what my performance level is and the quality of uh value that I want to deliver. I sit down, I populate my calendar. What that does is that sets me up to say no to last minute requests. Now I don't just say no, unless it's somebody that's always wasting my time. Then I'll say, nope, not this week. Hit me up next week. Uh but most of the time it's like, yes, I want to do that. Yes, I want to be a part of that. Yes, I can give you that thing. How about next Wednesday? Is that too late? Right. So now we're having a little bit of a negotiation around me executing the thing, but more importantly, I'm guarding my time so that I don't create the stress and the pressure, unnecessary stress and pressure. Because a lot of the stress and pressure that we feel is self-imposed because we say yes to everything all the time. So book your week, pick a day, book your week. Uh, and then start working on your mental presets. I already told you some of my mental presets, right? Would you hate me if we didn't do that until next week? Um, let me check my calendar again. Don't use that one with your friends because they're going to give you a hard time. Now, if you're looking for like more uh tangible tactile tactile tools for time management, drop double D in the comments and you'll get the whole sell first time management system. Well, more specifically, you'll get all the templates that all have instructions. Um, and if if you choose to do so, sign up for the uh the time management webinar where I'll give you some high-level training of how to the intent behind the different tools that you get. Totally free, free download, that little free training webinar. It's a group training. And if you really, really want to get into it, I have a workshop, a four-hour workshop. So if you're interested in that, first check out the downloadables, drop double D in the comments. We'll get you a link so you can get the downloadables and start messing around with the tools. If you still got questions, then maybe sign up for the webinar. I'll give you some clarity. Like people that are self-starters, make it happeners, that's all they need. And they don't allow to spend no money. Now, if you want guidance and coaching and collaboration and kind of working through the specifics of it, then you're gonna want to sign up for the workshop because we actively build your plan, future plan, schedule management, and daily execution. We do that on the call. So at the end of the call, you're gonna walk away with some tools that you can really, really go and apply and make your day better. Now, I promised you a bonus, and so, which is a little contradictory, but if you don't know me already, yes, I am a hypocrite most of the time. And so book your week, pick a day out of the week, and populate your calendar that helps you say no, or at least say not today, how about next week? Right, this way you minimize the stress and the pressure. Have your mental presets. What are those go-to responses that you're going to say so that instead of saying yes all the time? And the way to really, really make this super comfortable or meaningful for you is get clear on what you will allow to disrupt your week. And so, what do I mean by that? All the planning in the world don't mean nothing until it hits reality, right? There's a lot of quotes out there about it, and so I could be ultra rigid and say, no, I only have seven things and everything else is a hell no, but that's not true, right? Like if my mom needs help or she gets hurt, there's an emergency with family, guess what? I'm gonna go and pay attention and tend to that thing, right? So for me, the things that I will allow to disrupt my work is friends and family that are in need, I will allow that to disrupt my week. I just decided my people are important to me. And so when they are in need, not when they want something, like a link that I sent them last week, like I ain't gonna respond to that, fool. Just go back and check your emails. But if you're having a situation with your family personally, professionally, I'm down. Let's have the call. Uh, if somebody's hurt and needs some help, I'm down. Let me go help. I'll figure out how to get all the other crap done. Um, so friends and family that are in need is one of the things default. When that happens, guess what? I am not gonna have a conversation about next week. I'm gonna be present, I'm gonna help. The other one is clients. When clients reach out to me and say, Hey, I need a proposal because we want to do X, Y, and Z. You better believe I'm gonna stop what I'm doing and get that thing done. Now, Now, what I'll typically do there, if I get to ask on Tuesday or Wednesday, I'll say, okay, is Friday too late? Like I'm I'm still gonna do it in the week, but I'm trying to give myself a little cushion so that I can, so I don't like just let it crater my whole situation. Or if a current client calls and needs some help, they're stuck on something and I can guide them through a deal, absolutely let's schedule the call. If I'm available right there in the moment, I will take the call and we'll just handle the thing. Um, so again, it's a little bit contradictory, but it helps me focus on the most important things. So quick review and then I'm gonna bounce out of here. If you want to go from frazzled to focus and you're tired of rushing, you're double booked on your damn calendar, and you struggle to say no. The two things you want to do, number one, is book your week, lock in your calendar, pick a day, populate your calendar. After that, that sets up point number two, which is having your mental presets, which are kind of your default responses to an invitation, a request, or a directive where you can say, How about next week? Will you hate me if I don't do that until next Thursday? Uh let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you on a date. Or maybe another one, especially if you have a real job, is hey, let me show you all the things I got on my calendar today. If I like I'm happy to do that, but some of the things I gotta say, like I'm not gonna be able to get done. Which where do you think I should prioritize that? That's a little uncomfortable, but it is it is a power move. And so, again, drop double D in the comments to get all the templates for the time management, the self-first time management system. Be kind to yourself, be cool, and we'll talk at you next time. Before you go, I want to thank you for spending part of your day with me. Your time and attention mean a ton. And it's because of listeners like you that this podcast even exists. If you enjoyed today's conversation, make sure to subscribe to the Learnins and Missteps podcast so you never miss an episode and you get extra credit if you share it with your friends. Also, if you want even more insights on leadership, personal growth, communication, you know, all those fancy magical things, you can sign up for my newsletter on LinkedIn because I got a newsletter that goes out every single Monday. All the resources I share there are designed to help you put yourself first so that you can leave this world better than you found it. There's also a digital copy of my book, Becoming the Promise You're Intended to Be. And it's sitting there waiting for you on my website. All you gotta do is do the click and do the download and you get the free PDF. And if you want even more bonus points, share that PDF with somebody you know or the family of somebody you know that is currently struggling with self-destructive behavior. That would be the ultimate gift for me. While you're there, do some exploring of the trainings, workshops, and services that are designed to enhance your performance at home and at work. Just click the link in the show notes to check it out. Thanks again for listening. Take care of yourself, and I'll see you on the next episode. Peace.