Sept. 11, 2025

Culture, Courage, and Connection: The Keys to Better Leadership with Dr. Alejandra Rodriguez Mielke

Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Overcast podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
PocketCasts podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Amazon Music podcast player badge
Audible podcast player badge
iHeartRadio podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Overcast podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon PocketCasts podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon Amazon Music podcast player icon Audible podcast player icon iHeartRadio podcast player icon
Season 3

In this episode of the Learnings and Missteps podcast, host Jesse engages with Dr. Alejandra Rodriguez-Mielke, an expert in talent development and organizational analysis, who offers insights on cultural competence and adaptability. Dr. Alejandra shares her journey from Monterey, Mexico, to the United States, highlighting the importance of learning and teaching throughout her career. She emphasizes the significance of interpersonal skills, understanding cultural scripts, and being respectfully curious to thrive in diverse workplaces. This enlightening discussion delves into how cultural awareness can impact workplace dynamics, especially in safety, and offers valuable advice for young professionals seeking growth. Tune in to gain practical tips on overcoming fear, embracing flexibility, and fostering meaningful connections at work.

00:00 Introduction and Adapting to Change

00:44 Meet Dr. Alejandra Rodriguez Mielke

02:43 The Power of Curiosity and Action

04:52 Organizational Analysis and Human Dynamics

15:04 Challenges in Leadership and Management

29:10 Cultural Competence and Personal Growth

32:30 From Teen Dreams to Professional Realities

33:08 Embracing Human Connections Beyond Credentials

34:04 Understanding and Developing Cultural Competence

36:03 Cultural Differences and Workplace Safety

37:40 Respectful Curiosity and Cultural Cruise Control

39:08 Personal Stories of Cultural Cruise Control

47:13 The Courage to Connect and Overcome Rejection

53:38 Final Thoughts and How to Connect with Dr. Alejandra



Design the Life You have Always Wanted: https://www.depthbuilder.com/do-the-damn-thing

Download a PDF copy of Becoming the Promise You are Intended to Be
https://www.depthbuilder.com/books

00:00 - Adapting with Cultural Flexibility

07:15 - The Action-Oriented Mindset

18:33 - Understanding Human Dynamics in Organizations

30:46 - Cultural Competence and Cross-Cultural Communication

41:28 - Vulnerability in Professional Settings

50:33 - Taking Risks and Making Connections

57:48 - Being the Promise You're Intended to Be

WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.619
Okay, so I can just flip the script and I am going to learn how to adapt, how to use my flexibility as a Latina, and use it in the way that it has to be used.

00:00:11.619 --> 00:00:21.567
There's a lot of anxiety about changing your behavior and this and that, but I think that we're all adapting, we're all flexible.

00:00:21.567 --> 00:00:27.873
We have to, and it's important and it's growth when we adapt and learn and change.

00:00:27.873 --> 00:00:31.149
It's beautiful without being hard on ourselves.

00:00:31.149 --> 00:00:35.491
In your own cultural awareness, who are you culturally and how you act.

00:00:35.491 --> 00:00:38.649
When you can name it, you can tame it.

00:00:43.140 --> 00:00:44.423
What is going on?

00:00:44.423 --> 00:00:54.750
L m family back again, and this time I have like a super I don't even know how to say it like just super engaging and courageous human being.

00:00:54.750 --> 00:00:59.128
She reached out, we connected on the linkedin and she says, hey, I've got, let's talk.

00:00:59.128 --> 00:00:59.790
I got some questions.

00:00:59.790 --> 00:01:03.043
I want to meet up like yeah, sure, and it's like in person, oh okay.

00:01:03.043 --> 00:01:04.406
And on the weekend, oh okay.

00:01:04.406 --> 00:01:09.052
Like very few people have that level of courage and I'm so glad I did it.

00:01:09.174 --> 00:01:10.415
She's an amazing human being.

00:01:10.415 --> 00:01:35.942
So if talent development is something that you've ever had to deal with or wish you knew how to do, she is the ultra expert at maximizing talent, developing leadership and interpersonal skills, and she's worked in a multitude of industries construction, healthcare, finance, tech, manufacturing, like all of the above.

00:01:35.942 --> 00:01:39.951
So if you're going to try and wiggle out of well, that doesn't apply to me.

00:01:39.951 --> 00:01:40.641
You're a liar.

00:01:40.641 --> 00:01:42.927
She's got it going on.

00:01:42.927 --> 00:01:53.313
Dr Alejandra Rodriguez-Milkey is going to blow our mind with all the secret sauce that she has to fix companies and make things awesome.

00:01:53.313 --> 00:02:11.348
But before that, if this is your first time here, this is the Learnings and Missteps podcast, where you get to meet amazing human beings just like you who are sharing their gifts and talents to leave this world better than they found it.

00:02:11.348 --> 00:02:17.848
I'm Jesse, your selfish servant, and we are about to get to know Dr Alejandra.

00:02:17.848 --> 00:02:20.193
Dr Alejandra, how are you today?

00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:23.783
I'm doing fantastic, thank you.

00:02:23.783 --> 00:02:25.545
Thank you for having me, jesse.

00:02:25.545 --> 00:02:30.092
I'm super happy to be here and be able to have this conversation with you today.

00:02:30.092 --> 00:02:32.656
So thank you, ready, happy to be here.

00:02:33.400 --> 00:02:37.105
Yes, I'm excited, folks, if y'all don't know this, well, y'all wouldn't know this.

00:02:37.105 --> 00:02:42.775
Not only is like Dr Alejandro, like straight up, let's go, let's connect action oriented.

00:02:42.775 --> 00:02:47.324
Let's go, let's connect action oriented.

00:02:47.324 --> 00:02:49.611
I'm going to say it, you're that way times a thousand, because you and I had a conversation over coffee.

00:02:49.611 --> 00:02:53.584
We talked about a newsletter, and then, bam, like a week later, you launched a newsletter.

00:02:53.584 --> 00:02:57.193
Like you, just, you just default to action.

00:02:57.193 --> 00:03:00.087
Has that always been the way you operate?

00:03:00.087 --> 00:03:01.110
Where does that come from?

00:03:02.980 --> 00:03:06.227
Oh, yes, some people call it impulsiveness.

00:03:06.227 --> 00:03:14.530
Yeah, I love doing things.

00:03:14.530 --> 00:03:17.086
It's always for me, it's always what's next?

00:03:17.086 --> 00:03:18.509
What's on the other side?

00:03:18.509 --> 00:03:21.004
What happens if I turn around this corner?

00:03:21.004 --> 00:03:21.907
What am I going to find?

00:03:21.907 --> 00:03:22.590
What am I going to do?

00:03:22.590 --> 00:03:25.449
So I've always been very restless.

00:03:25.449 --> 00:03:33.521
There's something about that that might be a little bit of impulsiveness, yes, and a lot of curiosity.

00:03:33.521 --> 00:03:48.395
I cannot be in a place that I'm not learning and I'm finding out new things and it's what drives me, that curiosity to go and see what's out there in the world different industries, different organizations, different human beings.

00:03:48.395 --> 00:03:50.766
So that's what moves that action.

00:03:50.766 --> 00:03:56.270
Yeah, definitely, it's a sense of curiosity, of doing and learning and finding out what's like.

00:03:56.270 --> 00:03:57.933
I said, what's around the corner.

00:03:57.933 --> 00:04:00.068
So it's been close to me.

00:04:00.068 --> 00:04:02.379
I think that's one of the reasons that I'm in this country.

00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:11.707
I moved from Monterrey, mexico, here actually 25 years ago Exactly Last week I celebrated my 25th anniversary.

00:04:11.707 --> 00:04:15.925
Yeah, that was because I couldn't stay.

00:04:15.925 --> 00:04:18.351
I mean, I had to go, I had to move, I had to go and learn.

00:04:18.351 --> 00:04:30.031
So that's something that has been with me and I think it's connected to my father, even though he might not appreciate all my moves all the time, of course not, but when he.

00:04:30.031 --> 00:04:32.384
But of course I think it's a lot because of him.

00:04:32.384 --> 00:04:39.406
He was, he had that kind of personality as well so, always learning, always eager, challenging, curious, exploring.

00:04:39.526 --> 00:04:44.303
I think it's amazing because I'm, you can't tell, I have the same energy and I totally appreciate it.

00:04:44.303 --> 00:04:46.850
But I also I've, I've been told the same Jesse, you're too impulsive.

00:04:46.850 --> 00:04:47.812
Okay, whatever Like.

00:04:47.812 --> 00:04:52.189
Until you have to pay for my impulsiveness, don't complain, because I'm paying for it.

00:04:52.189 --> 00:04:56.603
You're not Now the curiosity, the adventure.

00:04:56.603 --> 00:05:08.956
How is that connected to organizational analysis, because I know that's kind of your sweet spot analyzing the way organizations function and so forth.

00:05:08.956 --> 00:05:17.954
What is the connection between that and your bias to action, your curiosity, that need to keep learning and growing?

00:05:18.379 --> 00:05:21.329
I've been always fascinated by human beings.

00:05:21.329 --> 00:05:25.956
I major in English literature, so for me it was really about stories, learning more about the human beings.

00:05:25.956 --> 00:05:27.920
I majored in English literature, so for me it was really about stories, learning more about the human being.

00:05:27.920 --> 00:05:38.733
And, of course, literature is a reflection of our thoughts and ideas and beliefs and how we advance, right, so it was always something about the human beings.

00:05:38.733 --> 00:05:52.771
And then I became an expert in learning and education, right, and how to ensure that people go from point A to point B, right, that movement, that learning, and I think that's what has been guiding me all this time.

00:05:52.771 --> 00:06:12.529
I think I would have been a fantastic anthropologist as well, because I do want to understand what makes people move, what makes people act in the ways they act, what makes people change, because that's the hard one, as we all know, right, what is it there?

00:06:12.529 --> 00:06:31.300
What are some contexts that make this change, this advancement, more easy for some people, and what other contexts that things just do not move and you go back and you hear the same complaints, right, and you hear the same problems, and you go back and they're like, okay, there's no movement.

00:06:31.300 --> 00:06:35.451
And I'm always been very fascinated and curious about this.

00:06:35.451 --> 00:06:42.670
What are the contexts that create this change, this advancement, right and what are the ones that not?

00:06:42.670 --> 00:06:56.860
And it's easy for me to go on, whether, regardless of the organization, the teams, the industry, like I said, I go there and I start observing with my big research eyes and my big anthropological eyes what's going on here right?

00:06:56.860 --> 00:07:02.367
What are the missing pieces that can make this better?

00:07:02.367 --> 00:07:04.370
What's not working well?

00:07:05.293 --> 00:07:09.605
And for me and I'm sure it's going to be similar to you it's always around the people.

00:07:09.605 --> 00:07:17.591
It's always around the people, the way that we interact with each other, the way that we relate to each other.

00:07:17.591 --> 00:07:29.521
And when we have work in the middle of those interactions, then we have to talk about demands and orders and hierarchy and bosses, so it messes the whole thing up.

00:07:29.521 --> 00:07:37.021
But we live in a world where we are in workplaces a lot of a time, like a chunk of our time.

00:07:37.021 --> 00:07:45.252
So we need to understand how are these content, these workplaces created and what can we do to make them better?

00:07:45.252 --> 00:07:50.605
Because work workspaces are not going to go anywhere, so they're here today.

00:07:50.605 --> 00:07:52.790
So it's always interesting to for me.

00:07:52.790 --> 00:07:54.862
I always go into the people.

00:07:54.862 --> 00:07:57.470
What are those dynamics that are not working?

00:07:57.470 --> 00:08:02.047
Other people might go and take a look at the workplace from a different perspective.

00:08:02.047 --> 00:08:03.810
But it's all about people.

00:08:03.810 --> 00:08:05.553
I think it's key.

00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:17.360
So what I'm hearing is, when you're talking about works, but you're talking about, your focus is human dynamics, interpersonal relationships, not the structure.

00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:23.293
I mean the structure, of course, but not like the lighting or floor plan.

00:08:23.293 --> 00:08:31.125
You're talking about how do people interact, function within this organization, which is, I'm sure?

00:08:31.125 --> 00:08:33.327
How many times have you heard this question?

00:08:33.327 --> 00:08:34.745
Maybe it's not even a question.

00:08:34.745 --> 00:08:39.360
Well, I don't know if your stuff is going to help, because we're different.

00:08:40.504 --> 00:08:42.570
And I believe that one for a little bit.

00:08:42.570 --> 00:08:44.408
And oh, yeah, oh, I want to go.

00:08:44.408 --> 00:08:45.072
I'm curious me.

00:08:45.072 --> 00:08:46.600
Oh, you're yeah, oh, I want to go, I'm curious me, oh, you're different.

00:08:46.600 --> 00:08:50.166
Oh, I'll be there, I really want to see.

00:08:51.020 --> 00:08:56.072
And then, when I started seeing, oh, this is not this, I've seen this, I've seen this.

00:08:56.072 --> 00:09:12.192
And you're like, oh, patterns begin to show up, patterns of interactions, and I'm like, oh, no, I mean, of course there's some differences, right, but there are a lot of similarities, because we're all human beings and we have a lot of these.

00:09:12.192 --> 00:09:22.148
A lot is about fear, right, we are very afraid of what other people are going to think about us, fear of rejection, fear of a lot of things, and they are, they create.

00:09:22.148 --> 00:09:27.543
These patterns, are very, are easy to see in many different ideas, very different contexts.

00:09:27.543 --> 00:09:51.466
And I think, for me, one thing that I have to say as an immigrant, because I'm an immigrant in this country, right, I think, when you come to a different country, even though I already spoke English, even though I had been in Austin, texas, texas, for a long before I moved here, I even had a few friends here, so it was not a completely foreign to me, but still coming.

00:09:51.485 --> 00:09:55.188
When you come to another country, you have to adapt different ways.

00:09:55.188 --> 00:09:59.611
You have to keep your eyes open to people are doing things differently.

00:09:59.611 --> 00:10:11.938
So that gives me or has given me, I think this extra sensitivity to go and observe and say, hey, what's going on here, what's working, what's not working.

00:10:11.938 --> 00:10:17.192
And I think that's what gives me that extra thing, what's going on here?

00:10:17.192 --> 00:10:21.423
Because I have to do that all my life because I'm a foreigner in this country.

00:10:21.423 --> 00:10:24.625
I'm a foreigner, I have to learn, I have to understand, I have to adapt Right, yes, yes, adapt to.

00:10:24.625 --> 00:10:25.924
I'm a foreigner in this country, I'm a foreigner.

00:10:25.946 --> 00:10:28.407
I have to learn, I have to understand, I have to adapt right yes, adapt to the conditions.

00:10:28.407 --> 00:10:33.009
So you mentioned being an anthropologist and I want to be clear.

00:10:33.009 --> 00:10:41.254
I'm not trying to minimize people's problems, because there are uniqueness, there are things that are different, nuances and so forth.

00:10:41.254 --> 00:10:56.248
However, in all the industries that you've worked in construction, healthcare, finance, tech, manufacturing, all of it the one thing that they all absolutely have in common is people.

00:10:56.248 --> 00:11:02.566
We got to do the LNM family member shout out, and this one again, I didn't write the name down, so I'm sorry.

00:11:02.566 --> 00:11:04.331
I love you, but I didn't get your name.

00:11:04.860 --> 00:11:07.307
But here's the message she says I took.

00:11:07.307 --> 00:11:08.811
When I say she, I don't even know it's a she.

00:11:08.811 --> 00:11:15.451
I took Jesse's class on time management and you hit all the high notes for me.

00:11:15.451 --> 00:11:26.355
I love lists, I'm super visual and Jesse really knows how to bring the best out of people and the best out of the tools that are readily available.

00:11:26.355 --> 00:11:28.322
Thank you so much.

00:11:28.322 --> 00:11:43.394
And if you're wondering what that testimonial is from or about it's on the Self First Time Mastery Framework that a whole bunch of people have been through, If you want to design the life that you really, really want, I could help you.

00:11:43.394 --> 00:11:44.677
Hit the link sign up.

00:11:44.677 --> 00:11:53.845
But more importantly to everybody out there, you already know, if you leave me a message, a testimonial, repost, do five stars, all of the things.

00:11:53.845 --> 00:12:04.788
Please do that because, one, it helps me feel good because somebody else is listening and two, it gives me the opportunity to shout you out in a future episode.

00:12:04.788 --> 00:12:09.692
People are people all the time.

00:12:09.812 --> 00:12:11.855
People are people, yes, definitely.

00:12:25.340 --> 00:12:26.246
And so you mentioned in your work or just kind of in general, you picked up on the patterns of how this might be going too far.

00:12:26.246 --> 00:12:28.129
But you picked up on patterns on dysfunctional, the dysfunctionality.

00:12:28.129 --> 00:12:30.153
What are some of the most frequent patterns that you've seen out there?

00:12:30.153 --> 00:12:33.409
Or maybe what are your favorite ones that you see?

00:12:33.409 --> 00:12:35.047
Oh, I could help there.

00:12:35.740 --> 00:12:44.586
So I, oh, I have so many, but I think one of the ones that I think it's a universal one and it's kind of the basis and the foundation for many other things.

00:12:44.586 --> 00:12:46.225
And it's this idea, the basis and the foundation for many other things.

00:12:46.225 --> 00:12:51.916
And it's this idea of fear, right, it's a fear that can has many ways of showing up, right?

00:12:51.916 --> 00:13:04.889
Fear of rejection, fear of what other people are going to say, right, especially a lot of us that we were raised in latin cultures, we have this thing about what ¿Qué va a decir la gente?

00:13:04.889 --> 00:13:06.432
What are they going to say about me?

00:13:06.432 --> 00:13:13.813
Fear of being taken advantage of, of being a joke, or fear of being discovered.

00:13:13.960 --> 00:13:19.110
So I think that is the fear, and I think it's a fear that has many ways of showing up.

00:13:19.110 --> 00:13:25.351
And I think this fear is about understanding that we are alone in this world.

00:13:25.351 --> 00:13:28.864
And I think at some point we understand that we are alone.

00:13:28.864 --> 00:13:42.585
And I think that feeling of being alone and unprotected, if I can say that, that we have to do it on our own, is something that, for some reason, is very ingrained in a lot of our beliefs.

00:13:42.625 --> 00:13:49.498
I don't know what you have seen, but I think for me is that it's very ingrained, and then that prevents us from being more open.

00:13:49.498 --> 00:13:54.428
Sometimes it prevents us from having real and more meaningful connections.

00:13:54.428 --> 00:14:08.932
Right, and it's just this which is kind of contradictory, because you are afraid, you want to protect yourself, but at the same time you're not open and you don't understand that by opening and connecting you can also protect yourself.

00:14:08.932 --> 00:14:13.692
Yes, that you don't have to do that on your own, but you don't want to because you don't trust.

00:14:13.692 --> 00:14:22.827
So I think for me it's always around this fear of, and I think that we feel alone and we are alone, we come alone and we die alone.

00:14:22.988 --> 00:14:46.530
But I think there's a misunderstanding of how that we can be in this world, and it has to do with culture as well, the individualistic culture of the US, so all these things, and it takes time because even that is a skill that we have to learn how to connect, how to release that fear.

00:14:46.530 --> 00:14:49.590
You talk a lot about vulnerability, right?

00:14:49.590 --> 00:14:52.508
It's very easy to say the word.

00:14:52.508 --> 00:14:55.509
I have an accent, a little bit of an accent.

00:14:55.509 --> 00:14:58.589
I might struggle with the word, but it's very easy.

00:14:58.589 --> 00:15:02.129
But it's very difficult to do it in real life In practice.

00:15:02.450 --> 00:15:04.346
Oh my goodness, yes, 100%.

00:15:04.346 --> 00:15:05.111
Do it in real life In practice.

00:15:05.111 --> 00:15:05.878
Oh my goodness, yes, a hundred percent.

00:15:05.878 --> 00:15:07.442
So I had a one of one of my counselors.

00:15:07.562 --> 00:15:13.779
One of my therapists told me Jesse, you suffer from chronic uniqueness.

00:15:13.779 --> 00:15:18.126
I was like what do you mean chronic uniqueness?

00:15:18.126 --> 00:15:32.164
And the point was all like I would I refuse to recognize that it's impossible for me to be the only human being to have had these experiences At this time in my life.

00:15:32.164 --> 00:15:35.272
Vulnerability was absolutely not an option.

00:15:35.272 --> 00:15:39.570
There's no way which reinforced my problem.

00:15:39.570 --> 00:15:53.296
If I wasn't willing to open up to people and admit that, hey, I have this fear, this concern, whatever insecurity, I would never learn that I'm not the only one that has those fears and insecurities.

00:15:53.296 --> 00:15:56.323
And so that's why she tells like you're chronically unique.

00:15:56.323 --> 00:16:04.020
If you continue to think that you're the only person, you will reinforce that idea and you're going to stay stuck and so.

00:16:04.783 --> 00:16:07.442
But to your point, vulnerability, very easy to say.

00:16:07.442 --> 00:16:09.547
In practice it's a little bit different.

00:16:09.547 --> 00:16:12.933
Now you help companies with this.

00:16:12.933 --> 00:16:23.091
Like you go in and you've done, you've got your doctorate in organizational stuff, like you've accomplished a ton, you've helped tons and tons of people, leaders, with this.

00:16:23.091 --> 00:16:28.489
Do they, when they call you to this say hey, dr Alejandra, can you help us with vulnerability?

00:16:28.489 --> 00:16:29.773
Does that happen to you?

00:16:29.773 --> 00:16:32.104
No, no it's always.

00:16:32.625 --> 00:16:41.383
I mean I wish, but I mean I don't think I would even ask for help like that, right, I think it's hard for all human beings, but no, they all.

00:16:41.383 --> 00:16:48.227
I mean it's very reactive instead of proactive, right, there's always very we have a problem, we have a fire.

00:16:48.227 --> 00:16:54.393
I think a lot of people spend a lot of time at work putting out fires and it's exhausting.

00:16:54.393 --> 00:16:59.897
It's exhausting and it's never ending, right, because the fires are always going to be there.

00:16:59.897 --> 00:17:23.037
But when really things get bad is when they start either losing people or it's always related, some kind of like when they are money, they are not reaching out, the clients that they want to reach or something is is the dynamics, are a lot of complaints, right, but no, they don't reach out.

00:17:23.037 --> 00:17:26.430
For that, I think it's difficult and I like.

00:17:26.701 --> 00:17:30.394
So I've been working with engineers lately, jesse and I love engineers.

00:17:30.394 --> 00:17:36.616
I never thought I was gonna love engineers so much because I have nothing about engineering in my life.

00:17:36.616 --> 00:17:39.320
I'm not an engineer, I married one, but I don't have anything.

00:17:39.320 --> 00:18:05.978
But I love working with them and I my mission in life is to be able to help them understand that these skills of being open, of connecting, really influencing others or motivating others or building good teams are skills like the skills that they use to measure windows, for example, or do whatever technical work that they have to do.

00:18:05.978 --> 00:18:24.771
That there are skills that we can learn, that we can learn, and there are ways to learn those skills and then you can implement them and you can be better at those, and those are going to help you tremendously At work outside of work personally, right internally.

00:18:25.500 --> 00:18:31.929
But I think what causes me a lot of frustration is that nobody teaches us these skills.

00:18:31.929 --> 00:18:33.641
Nobody does so.

00:18:33.641 --> 00:18:43.448
I remember a long time ago when I was like, oh, my friend was selected to go to leadership skills training and it was a big deal and I'm like, oh cool, what is that?

00:18:43.448 --> 00:18:49.871
I mean, this is decades ago, right, and it's like why some people are selected to go to this?

00:18:49.871 --> 00:18:54.451
Right, why only some people when there's skills that everybody needs?

00:18:54.451 --> 00:19:08.925
So it pains me when I see a lot of young engineers, young that are absolutely clueless in how to develop their teams, but not because they don't want to or they can't, it's because they don't know how.

00:19:08.925 --> 00:19:16.288
So I want to do that and that will require a little bit of vulnerability, right?

00:19:16.288 --> 00:19:22.832
Yeah, I don't use the word a lot, but it's needed because you have to to learn new things.

00:19:23.500 --> 00:19:24.896
Well, thank you, and it's not picking on engineers, but learn new things.

00:19:24.896 --> 00:19:32.326
Thank you, and it's not picking on engineers, but I get it Like the folks that I know that have the engineer mindset.

00:19:32.326 --> 00:19:47.301
They place tremendous value on their technical expertise and almost have zero value for interpersonal expertise, relationship, communication, conversational because what are we talking about?

00:19:47.301 --> 00:20:12.436
Tell me what we need to do, which is fine, until you have to lead people, and so and to your point, I think you made this point, so I want to ask it a different way is people are people, they're always going to be people, but then we put them in this work environment and, for some reason, it's like the work environment is designed to help people hate each other.

00:20:12.436 --> 00:20:13.865
What do you think about that?

00:20:16.781 --> 00:20:17.545
That's so funny.

00:20:17.545 --> 00:20:53.752
I mean, yeah, it seems like there are certain situations of being so close to each other that that competitive aspect of the workplace right that our cultural values I mean we live in western societies where we have very specific gender roles that we have to follow, some more than others, but they exist and all that is like, like you said, it puts all the ingredients in the stove in that workplace, right the pot or the perfect soup or the perfect storm, whatever.

00:20:53.752 --> 00:20:56.381
I think that I once read.

00:20:56.381 --> 00:21:04.967
I once they told me to a point that it is only in these interpersonal relationships where we grow as people.

00:21:04.967 --> 00:21:08.169
We can learn all the technical.

00:21:08.209 --> 00:21:10.851
But the system was created.

00:21:10.851 --> 00:21:18.596
I always tell my clients you were put in the perfect lab for it, but you were put in the perfect lab to develop what you have to develop.

00:21:18.596 --> 00:21:31.230
Now they put all the ingredients you want to call God, the universe like a lego set and they put all their little ingredients for you to develop your new skills.

00:21:31.230 --> 00:21:32.011
So you have to develop.

00:21:32.011 --> 00:21:33.494
They did it, it's there for you.

00:21:33.494 --> 00:21:37.710
So I think that the workplace is a perfect and families also.

00:21:37.769 --> 00:21:51.807
I think that we're oh my god, but it's because the system we were designed to develop through those interactions with other human beings, because if not, there's no growth.

00:21:51.807 --> 00:21:54.068
I mean, there is no advancement.

00:21:54.068 --> 00:22:02.826
I mean, of course, you can learn to code beautifully or you can learn to whatever, but the real advancement is through these personal interactions.

00:22:02.826 --> 00:22:05.327
Yes, that's what I found out.

00:22:06.349 --> 00:22:16.498
I, luckily, I had a boss who told me, jess, you're pretty good Technically, you're good foreman, you make money, get jobs done on time, but our people quit on you and our clients hate you.

00:22:16.498 --> 00:22:31.490
And I said, yeah, you're going to have to start developing people.

00:22:31.490 --> 00:22:35.480
And so, which was again back to the structure of business.

00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:46.176
Like, we hire people and we assign them specific tasks and when they execute those tasks really well, we give them a raise, we give them a promotion, give them more tasks.

00:22:46.176 --> 00:22:47.559
They get good at those.

00:22:47.559 --> 00:22:49.612
We give them a raise, we give them a promotion.

00:22:49.612 --> 00:23:00.534
And so the whole time we're reinforcing their abilities as an individual contributor and to be excellent on execution of things.

00:23:00.534 --> 00:23:06.031
And then we say, okay, they got so good, now we're going to make them in charge of people.

00:23:07.174 --> 00:23:21.671
And because this whole time was, say, three, five, eight years, whatever it was, I was successful by managing things, I end up managing people as if they're things and there's no ladder or development of.

00:23:21.671 --> 00:23:31.625
Okay, let's start helping you develop the skills to, to, to communicate concisely, to take feedback, to deliver feedback.

00:23:31.625 --> 00:23:36.942
Like that doesn't happen until everybody's quitting on you.

00:23:36.942 --> 00:23:39.519
Am I wrong, or was that just my story?

00:23:40.311 --> 00:23:40.895
Of course.

00:23:40.895 --> 00:23:42.848
Yeah, I mean that's, you're totally right.

00:23:42.848 --> 00:23:52.143
I mean I had a client who the first session he sat down and he said I just told my high school age kid, whatever you do in life, do not manage people.

00:23:52.143 --> 00:23:56.824
I mean he was that frustrated.

00:23:56.824 --> 00:24:02.042
He was that frustrated because he was a civil engineer, super smart.

00:24:02.042 --> 00:24:03.957
I'm sure he coasted through school.

00:24:04.711 --> 00:24:06.538
He got a master's degree.

00:24:07.170 --> 00:24:19.939
He advanced because they're very high demand Civil engineers are in high demand so he had a very good job and then he had to manage people in a different place and it was a lot of ingredients that again were creating that perfect storm.

00:24:19.939 --> 00:24:23.114
And he was like I just told my kid whatever you do not manage people.

00:24:23.114 --> 00:24:32.804
And I'm like how can you be like that I mean regardless of work how can you feel so incapable of dealing with people?

00:24:32.804 --> 00:24:35.818
It's not a good place to be right.

00:24:35.818 --> 00:24:39.295
Yes, but a lot of people do.

00:24:39.295 --> 00:24:40.659
They promote and hope.

00:24:40.659 --> 00:24:42.154
I'm sure you've heard that word.

00:24:42.471 --> 00:24:43.173
Promote and hope.

00:24:43.173 --> 00:24:43.556
Yes.

00:24:44.051 --> 00:24:45.356
And let's see how it goes.

00:24:45.356 --> 00:24:52.481
And also the Peter Principle right when you go, you advance, you send and then at some point things are going to get interesting.

00:24:52.481 --> 00:25:02.981
I think it takes a lot of awareness at all levels of the organization Awareness at high, those people who are like, hey, what are we going to do when we promote people?

00:25:02.981 --> 00:25:04.556
What plan do we have?

00:25:04.556 --> 00:25:06.516
Do we have someone who can help?

00:25:06.516 --> 00:25:07.832
I mean, how we're going to do this.

00:25:07.832 --> 00:25:23.835
And then awareness at the other levels is like, hey, I'm about to do this, I need help, to ask for help, we have to do something for me and my other people and my teams and everything, but just hoping that things are going to happen are it's going to be hard, because those are not innate.

00:25:23.835 --> 00:25:32.401
Even I've always said this, even for me consultant on people skills or whatever I have to develop my own people skills.

00:25:32.750 --> 00:25:34.897
I have to put some practice on those.

00:25:34.897 --> 00:25:43.681
I mean, I have to put my work on those because it's not, again, automatic, it's not an aid.

00:25:43.681 --> 00:25:49.155
Or you can be like my husband who said I'm sorry, I'm not going to manage anyone, so do whatever you want to do.

00:25:49.155 --> 00:25:53.441
He's an engineer, coding and he's happy and he has never managed people.

00:25:53.441 --> 00:26:06.257
So, but you have to have some kind of awareness to realize, hey, we're going to, we need something for our people and you also ask, hey, don't leave me alone here, please help me out in one way or another.

00:26:06.719 --> 00:26:09.833
Yeah, no, I think that's a great point your husband recognized.

00:26:09.833 --> 00:26:12.717
I am not going to do that and there's a cost to it.

00:26:12.717 --> 00:26:18.743
If you're not willing to do that, there's a certain level and cool If you're good with that, good, we need you to do the coding.

00:26:18.743 --> 00:26:26.872
But if you want to advance, you're going to have to.

00:26:26.872 --> 00:26:29.820
You really are going to have to manage people, and so what can you do to start building those skills?

00:26:29.820 --> 00:26:36.619
Now, what have you learned about yourself through the work that you do and watching the patterns and guiding people and restructuring?

00:26:36.619 --> 00:26:39.753
What popped up that surprised you about you?

00:26:40.435 --> 00:26:48.557
I love that question because, again, that curiosity that keeps moving me to go and move countries and do this and do that.

00:26:48.557 --> 00:26:56.259
Sometimes it's hard to put it towards yourself right, turn around and be curious about yourself.

00:26:56.259 --> 00:27:02.352
And I've yeah, that is not as easy even I mean for no one, I think, and me included.

00:27:02.352 --> 00:27:05.934
So I've learned that I'm very tenacious, I stick.

00:27:05.934 --> 00:27:11.359
I've learned that I'm very tenacious, I stick, I won't quit, I stick.

00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:18.144
But I've also learned that I am not the expert in a lot of things.

00:27:18.144 --> 00:27:24.538
I mean you have to be humble, you have to be open, to continue learning.

00:27:24.538 --> 00:27:28.980
I think it's related, but I think I've learned that and I also have to learn how to be vulnerable.

00:27:29.631 --> 00:27:30.776
Let's be honest about that.

00:27:30.776 --> 00:27:36.359
It's something about the education and the.

00:27:36.359 --> 00:27:44.163
I mean I have a PhD and all that and I'm like that's not not that it's not enough, but it's like that doesn't tell the whole story.

00:27:44.163 --> 00:27:51.663
You have to continue how to be vulnerable and ask for help and reach out and more.

00:27:51.663 --> 00:27:57.462
When you think that you have reached out, you reach out more and try, you try more.

00:27:57.462 --> 00:27:59.715
And when you think that you have, whatever is it?

00:27:59.715 --> 00:28:01.992
I think that has been one of my big learnings.

00:28:01.992 --> 00:28:08.201
That is a work in progress, it's never ending and it's part of being human.

00:28:08.201 --> 00:28:10.397
So, but it's hard, it's hard.

00:28:10.397 --> 00:28:20.372
There are risks of being vulnerable, especially for a woman, and so there are a lot of latinas or the little risks, but I've learned to that.

00:28:20.372 --> 00:28:29.477
Yeah, I have to also put a little bit of walk the talk a little bit yeah oh, yeah, definitely yeah, well, I love it, it's, it's that right.

00:28:29.517 --> 00:28:30.760
It's sure I can help.

00:28:30.760 --> 00:28:34.038
Oh, and there's room here too.

00:28:34.038 --> 00:28:35.615
There's some work I need to do here.

00:28:35.869 --> 00:28:39.455
When I moved here, like I said, I mean I knew everything but it was a cultural shock.

00:28:39.455 --> 00:28:41.164
And then I got my therapist.

00:28:41.164 --> 00:28:46.476
Of course I was working for 10 years and then we parted ways and then I'm seeing another one.

00:28:46.476 --> 00:28:54.032
But it's like going to the gym.

00:28:54.032 --> 00:28:55.641
I mean my muscles are not going to stay muscle strong if I don't go to the gym.

00:28:55.641 --> 00:28:58.574
But we have such a hard time talking about those things and I think it's getting better.

00:28:58.574 --> 00:29:03.076
I think a little bit better, but it's hard to understand that.

00:29:03.076 --> 00:29:08.237
It's just part of being healthy and sometimes it's easier said than done.

00:29:09.140 --> 00:29:09.800
Definitely Okay.

00:29:09.800 --> 00:29:16.242
Now you've mentioned the word cultural a few times and I want to come back and talk about cultural competence.

00:29:16.242 --> 00:29:23.261
But before that, like back when you were in Monterrey, 15, 10, 12 years old, did you know?

00:29:23.261 --> 00:29:24.344
Oh, this is what I want to do.

00:29:24.344 --> 00:29:29.781
I'm going to have my doctorate degree, I'm going to be in Austin, I'm going to be consulting and helping with people.

00:29:29.781 --> 00:29:31.512
Was it that easy?

00:29:32.315 --> 00:29:33.836
No, not at all.

00:29:33.836 --> 00:29:39.515
I mean, I had really no idea what I was thinking when I was 10 or 12 or 15, what I wanted to do.

00:29:39.515 --> 00:29:56.442
I'm thinking, but I, I went into education after, after college, I went to education and I realized that I said I learning, I like teaching, I think I like that ecosystem of learning, and so definitely that was part of me.

00:29:56.442 --> 00:30:02.435
But and then at some point I really wanted, I was like at this time I have to go, I have to go.

00:30:02.435 --> 00:30:03.818
I was.

00:30:03.818 --> 00:30:14.911
One thing that is funny and I want to put it here for everyone to know, is that I was still living at home because in Mexico it's very common to live with your parents for longer than just and I went to college in my hometown, so I was still there.

00:30:14.911 --> 00:30:19.782
So it was really a time to move Right and and I said, okay, let's just go.

00:30:19.782 --> 00:30:21.993
But I had no idea, really had no idea.

00:30:22.915 --> 00:30:40.039
Came to UT and I was going to apply to another master's but the admissions officer said, oh, you already have a master's, and she took out the application and she put the application for the PhD and I mean and I'm like, why not?

00:30:40.039 --> 00:30:49.838
And I have to say that, of course, definitely, coming here to this country and UT changed me completely.

00:30:49.838 --> 00:30:51.537
I'm a whole different person.

00:30:51.537 --> 00:31:00.816
You cannot go through a PhD program and not change completely, and there's still a lot of things to change and fix right, but it definitely changed.

00:31:00.816 --> 00:31:06.738
And then that's when I realized that there was a lot of work to do with the Latino community in this country.

00:31:07.329 --> 00:31:13.914
So in one way or another, I've always been helping the Latino community, and that's first in education.

00:31:13.914 --> 00:31:16.681
I work with school districts across the state.

00:31:16.681 --> 00:31:21.917
I work with a lot of education agencies, and then I moved into.

00:31:21.917 --> 00:31:28.217
I wanted to see okay, well, let's see how the Latino community is doing in corporate America, so let's go there.

00:31:28.356 --> 00:31:39.954
So I work there, always trying to support not always, but big time of my work has been towards the Latino community, and that's the kind of one of the things that brought me into construction.

00:31:39.954 --> 00:31:42.761
Be honest, I mean, it was about the Latino community.

00:31:42.761 --> 00:31:50.317
I work with everyone, but of course, the Latino community is very important to me and that's one of the reasons that I'm doing what I'm doing.

00:31:50.317 --> 00:31:59.256
Definitely I want to support the Latino worker, construction workers and employees.

00:31:59.256 --> 00:32:19.367
I think they are, as we all know, a big part of the construction industry and I want them to keep racing and keep moving into higher positions of visibility, and that's one of the reasons that I'm doing also all this work, but no plans for that absolutely no good, because so far no one said well, I take that back, I make it shapiro.

00:32:20.893 --> 00:32:31.824
She's the one person man, there may be a couple other people I know, but she's the one person I've interviewed who said oh yeah, I knew I was going to be a lawyer when I was a teenager.

00:32:31.824 --> 00:32:34.596
I was going to be a lawyer, and she's a dang lawyer now.

00:32:34.596 --> 00:32:41.720
She probably didn't know that she was going to be starting her own little business and managing conferences and stuff.

00:32:41.720 --> 00:32:46.242
But I think for the L&M family members out there, it's not a straight line.

00:32:46.242 --> 00:32:59.732
And I think one thing you touched on that I think is super, super important is, yes, which and I appreciate greatly you do have a PhD from the University of Texas in Austin and master's from Monterrey.

00:32:59.732 --> 00:33:12.630
I mean, you're extremely accomplished and credentialed and I'm just a really good looking plumber and the way you make me feel human and accepted, right.

00:33:12.670 --> 00:33:22.576
So there's these insecurities of I don't have the credentials, I don't have the certifications, but we can still have this amazing conversation because we're human beings, and so I want to put that.

00:33:22.576 --> 00:33:34.314
The reason I'm saying that is so that the listeners out there I understand how scary and intimidating it can be to not have the certifications and credentials and whatever, and sure if you want to go get them.

00:33:34.314 --> 00:33:42.980
But that doesn't make you any more, any less human, and you kind of touched on that earlier when you were talking about what you learned about.

00:33:42.980 --> 00:33:47.875
Yes, you can have the degrees and the certifications and all the things, and you're still human.

00:33:48.317 --> 00:33:49.000
You're learning.

00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:55.655
I still have flaws many of them and I still catch myself like, oh, did you just do that?

00:33:55.655 --> 00:33:58.579
I mean, okay, where did that come from?

00:33:58.579 --> 00:34:01.957
I mean humans, we're totally humans, right?

00:34:01.957 --> 00:34:02.198
Yes?

00:34:02.659 --> 00:34:04.001
Oh, my God, I love that.

00:34:04.001 --> 00:34:15.041
Now I was looking at your LinkedIn bio and there was something in there about cultural competence and I don't know enough about it, except that I'm like there's something valuable there.

00:34:15.041 --> 00:34:19.313
So what is cultural competence Like?

00:34:19.313 --> 00:34:26.974
How can our people, the listeners, think about that so that they can better serve the people in their, in their surrounding?

00:34:27.735 --> 00:34:29.719
Oh, I love cultural companies.

00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:38.596
I love that topic, of course, and that's one of my, that's why it's one of my services, but so I work, maybe not as much as I want, but I do it in one way or another.

00:34:38.596 --> 00:34:43.731
Always add some of those, because is that is when I support people, learn.

00:34:44.492 --> 00:34:57.456
support people to learn how to work better across cultures because, we, and then, for example, the Latino culture, and you have many other cultures, people that have teams in India, right, and they have teams in Korea.

00:34:57.456 --> 00:35:03.143
Now, we have a lot of organizations that have teams all over the world right, it's happening.

00:35:03.143 --> 00:35:15.655
So when we are faced with difference, when we are faced with cultural differences, there's always going to be like a break right, either conscious or unconsciously.

00:35:15.655 --> 00:35:19.574
This is different and we have all the alert signs.

00:35:19.574 --> 00:35:20.376
This is different.

00:35:20.436 --> 00:35:27.434
I don't understand what's going on here and I sometimes I joke that I live in a world of I just don't get it.

00:35:27.434 --> 00:35:29.659
I just don't get it.

00:35:29.659 --> 00:35:31.284
Who knows they're like that or like this?

00:35:31.284 --> 00:35:32.572
Who knows, it's weird, it's different.

00:35:32.572 --> 00:35:39.916
So I help them develop those skills that make them good at working across cultures.

00:35:39.916 --> 00:35:45.733
So develop their cultural competence, because there's always going to be some differences.

00:35:45.733 --> 00:35:55.704
There are differences because we have different personality right, they're a very individual level, but there are also differences that are there because of different cultures.

00:35:55.704 --> 00:36:02.884
So I try to support the understanding of these differences so we can work better together.

00:36:02.884 --> 00:36:07.695
Now I have my.

00:36:07.735 --> 00:36:18.998
That I find fascinating regarding the construction company is that sometimes this cultural difference can affect I mean, it affects everything the way we communicate, the way we build trust.

00:36:18.998 --> 00:36:26.641
But it can also affect safety, because there's a lot of articles and I'm a total.

00:36:26.641 --> 00:36:29.664
I go to Google Scholar once a day.

00:36:29.664 --> 00:36:37.730
I'm sorry, but I'm talking about articles and there's a lot of research that talks about how safety might be impacted by these cultural differences.

00:36:37.730 --> 00:36:52.543
For example, the Latino construction worker might say since one of our Latino cultural values is familismo and we are very community-centered and family-centered, we keep these groups right.

00:36:53.250 --> 00:37:04.858
But, sometimes, if the primo, if the cousin is not doing what the supervisor said, I'm going to follow what the cousin is doing, not what the supervisor is telling me to do.

00:37:04.858 --> 00:37:09.061
The cousin is part of my group, yeah.

00:37:09.081 --> 00:37:10.286
Part of my group.

00:37:10.547 --> 00:37:11.230
So Part of my group.

00:37:11.230 --> 00:37:12.534
So that can be one way.

00:37:12.534 --> 00:37:14.213
And the supervisor who's?

00:37:14.213 --> 00:37:16.701
No, I don't understand, he's weird, it's another culture.

00:37:16.701 --> 00:37:23.641
I'm going to be a little bit more so that might be one way where cultural violence might affect safety, for example.

00:37:23.641 --> 00:37:25.677
So then it gets in the way.

00:37:26.150 --> 00:37:32.043
So I think it's essential for us to understand how we work across cultures.

00:37:32.043 --> 00:37:38.603
We need to know that we're going to have ways of seeing the world that are based on our culture.

00:37:38.603 --> 00:37:41.851
That might be different and you have to.

00:37:41.851 --> 00:37:52.579
I always say you have to stop your cultural cruise control Driving and we have our own views, views and we just go through life.

00:37:52.579 --> 00:37:57.900
We don't think about that because of course, that's the way that we've been functioning since we were babies.

00:37:57.900 --> 00:38:01.635
But I always say you have to stop your cultural cruise control.

00:38:01.635 --> 00:38:09.117
Stop it because and think, hey, can this be seen from differently, from another perspective?

00:38:09.117 --> 00:38:13.820
Can this be due to a different cultural aspect?

00:38:13.820 --> 00:38:28.519
Possibly this was because of something that I had not considered, but only when you stop that cultural cruise control right, you stop and you ask those questions, you become respectfully curious.

00:38:28.690 --> 00:38:34.858
I always talk about that Very respectful, and you ask and you get to know other cultures and ways of being and doing.

00:38:35.621 --> 00:38:40.420
So that's why, oh, you just stirred the pot so cultural.

00:38:40.420 --> 00:38:52.143
Here's one thing, folks, if you didn't catch this Ellen and family member, the way you break, or the medicine for cultural cruise control is to be respectfully curious.

00:38:52.143 --> 00:39:03.820
Now, when I hear respectfully I'm sorry cultural cruise control, I want to share a story because I know I'm not the only one that's had this problem.

00:39:03.820 --> 00:39:08.213
And I want to know is that an example of cultural cruise control?

00:39:08.213 --> 00:39:13.382
Now, when I was brought up, you respect your elders.

00:39:13.382 --> 00:39:20.351
Right To this day, when I'm talking to an elder and they call my name, I say Monday, I don't even.

00:39:20.351 --> 00:39:23.380
It's just a natural thing, right, hey, chewy, just Monday.

00:39:23.380 --> 00:39:27.320
I know like I'm not going to say what, because then I'm going to get slapped, amen.

00:39:28.371 --> 00:39:42.722
And so my upbringing was respect your elders, don't challenge your elders, don't talk back to your elders, respect your elders, which served me very well when I was a student and a kid.

00:39:42.722 --> 00:39:47.581
But then I got into the professional space and it didn't serve me very well.

00:39:47.581 --> 00:39:48.914
Like, only to like.

00:39:48.914 --> 00:39:56.722
When I was ready, like I need more challenge, I want to grow and get promoted, and still didn't challenge my elders or the authority.

00:39:56.722 --> 00:39:57.914
It was a problem.

00:39:57.914 --> 00:40:00.231
Because why, Like?

00:40:00.231 --> 00:40:01.858
You're never saying anything, you just agree.

00:40:01.858 --> 00:40:04.454
You're not bringing anything to the table and I'm like y'all are.

00:40:04.454 --> 00:40:06.460
You're the elders, you're the bosses.

00:40:06.460 --> 00:40:09.777
Is that an example of cultural cruise control?

00:40:10.018 --> 00:40:12.195
Exactly we can talk.

00:40:12.195 --> 00:40:16.380
I mean, let me go and get more coffee because we can talk hours and hours about this.

00:40:16.380 --> 00:40:21.278
Exactly, my culture, your culture, control was just going in one way.

00:40:21.278 --> 00:40:25.740
This is the only way, this is a way that I know how to function, how to work, how to do this one.

00:40:25.740 --> 00:40:28.490
But at some point the context was like and then you stop.

00:40:28.490 --> 00:40:30.552
But at some point the context was like and then you stop.

00:40:30.552 --> 00:40:38.253
I have to turn off this cruise control and learn and adapt and learn and see what I need to do.

00:40:38.253 --> 00:40:43.916
And I think I have the same exact example At UT Dr Jo Worthy.

00:40:43.916 --> 00:40:45.456
That was one of my advisors.

00:40:45.456 --> 00:40:51.039
Dr Worthy asked me to call her Jo by her first name, jesse.

00:40:51.059 --> 00:40:51.958
Was that?

00:40:51.978 --> 00:40:52.358
hard.

00:40:52.358 --> 00:40:59.842
She was a professor, my advisor, and I was like I can't.

00:40:59.842 --> 00:41:03.943
Meanwhile, shauna and I always set an example.

00:41:03.943 --> 00:41:05.684
And Shauna was an Anglo girl.

00:41:05.684 --> 00:41:07.425
A friend of mine was still in touch.

00:41:07.425 --> 00:41:11.425
Shauna had been calling Jo since day number one of the program.

00:41:11.945 --> 00:41:12.106
Yeah.

00:41:12.507 --> 00:41:16.307
And then I couldn't even call Dr Worthy Joe until for six months.

00:41:16.307 --> 00:41:18.869
I didn't call her anything, I was just like hi how are you?

00:41:18.869 --> 00:41:21.996
Fine, and then what happened?

00:41:21.996 --> 00:41:27.429
I'm like, uh-uh, you have to, yeah you have to right.

00:41:27.490 --> 00:41:28.731
So that is that kind of okay.

00:41:28.731 --> 00:41:43.639
But the respectful curiosity that I talk is that maybe from other people your supervisors and your example could have stopped their own cultural cruise control and say what's going on here?

00:41:43.639 --> 00:41:46.840
There must be something else going on here.

00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:51.443
Yeah, that is that's why, jesse, that case is behaving in this way.

00:41:51.443 --> 00:41:53.264
So what's going on here?

00:41:53.264 --> 00:42:00.387
So they could also have stopped their culture control and said hey, jesse, tell us more about your culture.

00:42:00.387 --> 00:42:09.311
Who are you, what do you think, what do you appreciate, what do you value?

00:42:09.311 --> 00:42:15.849
I mean those conversations of connecting you don't have to become best friends with everyone at work, but those connections is like Tell me more in a very respectful way, that's all I'll say.

00:42:15.849 --> 00:42:22.112
Respectful curiosity Tell me more about how you see life, how you see war, how do you see your advancement, what are you thinking?

00:42:22.112 --> 00:42:28.577
I mean, tell me about how you experience world and the job as a Latino man in this country, or something like that.

00:42:28.717 --> 00:42:29.360
Beautiful point.

00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:51.568
I did have somebody who had that cure, that respectful curiosity, and this was now I'm like at this point in my career, I have regional responsibility, I'm traveling around the country and it was the first meeting that he and I were in and I have a like I've gotten over the challenging authority, like I'm fine with it at this point, and but I didn't say anything.

00:42:51.568 --> 00:42:58.391
And we it was like a four hour workshop strategy check-in, whatever it was, and I didn't say a whole lot.

00:42:58.391 --> 00:43:02.527
And so after the meeting he said hey, jess, I asked you some question.

00:43:02.527 --> 00:43:04.942
I'm not, I really am just being curious.

00:43:04.942 --> 00:43:05.864
I'm not judging you.

00:43:05.864 --> 00:43:07.768
I was like, yeah, don't like, what's your problem?

00:43:07.768 --> 00:43:13.666
He said well, you were extremely quiet, you didn't say a lot.

00:43:13.666 --> 00:43:16.672
You asked questions but you didn't say a lot.

00:43:16.672 --> 00:43:22.150
Is it because you don't think it's appropriate for you to speak in the room?

00:43:22.150 --> 00:43:28.146
And I say thank you for asking me that question, cause now I know that you're a he's a real one.

00:43:28.146 --> 00:43:29.108
Right, he gets it.

00:43:29.108 --> 00:43:32.081
So thank you for answering asking me that question.

00:43:32.262 --> 00:43:43.907
I said no, I said I have adopted a way, a mode of operation, where I am not going to say something if it's redundant, if somebody already said the thought that I had.

00:43:43.907 --> 00:43:47.300
I don't need to change or say it a different way.

00:43:47.300 --> 00:43:57.489
I don't need to be seen like I'm here, and so what that means is I will only speak when I care about something deeply and it hasn't been said.

00:43:57.489 --> 00:43:58.793
He's oh.

00:43:58.793 --> 00:44:00.360
I was like, yeah, he's okay.

00:44:00.360 --> 00:44:09.592
I said let me guess you you've seen other guys like me, with a beautiful tan, like me, that don't speak up, and it's because they're afraid they're not supposed to.

00:44:09.612 --> 00:44:10.840
He's like how'd you know?

00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:12.141
I said cause I used to be that way.

00:44:12.141 --> 00:44:13.204
Right, we're all like that.

00:44:13.204 --> 00:44:15.646
Right, I get it, I don't have that problem anymore.

00:44:15.646 --> 00:44:18.931
I'm just not going to repeat something that's already been said.

00:44:18.931 --> 00:44:24.806
I want to contribute value, and if I can't contribute value, then let's at least keep it going.

00:44:24.806 --> 00:44:34.393
We don't need to be saying the same thing a million times, and so I guess maybe the takeaway for our listener is they're out there, so find them.

00:44:34.393 --> 00:44:41.387
And when I say they, the amazing leaders that have this cultural awareness and the respectful curiosity, they are there.

00:44:41.387 --> 00:44:42.911
You just got to find them.

00:44:44.260 --> 00:45:07.059
And also do your own cultural understanding of who you are, culturally speaking, like when I couldn't say, when I couldn't call Joe Joe for months, it was not because I was defective, it was not because I had a problem, it was not because I was not that smart, it was just because my culture had taught me differently.

00:45:07.059 --> 00:45:09.365
Yeah, I understood that.

00:45:09.365 --> 00:45:14.402
I said that's one of my we call them cultural scripts that respect the cultural script.

00:45:14.402 --> 00:45:27.835
When I understood that and so I can just flip the script and I am going to learn how to adapt, how to use my flexibility as a Latina and use it in the way that it has to be used.

00:45:27.835 --> 00:45:40.802
There's a lot of anxiety about changing your behavior and this and that, but I think that we are all adapting, we're all flexible, we have to, and it's important and it's growth.

00:45:40.802 --> 00:45:44.088
When we adapt and learn and change.

00:45:44.088 --> 00:45:47.340
It's beautiful without being hard on ourselves.

00:45:47.340 --> 00:45:49.146
In your own cultural awareness.

00:45:49.146 --> 00:45:51.672
Who are you culturally and how you act?

00:45:51.672 --> 00:45:57.898
When you can name it, you can, tame it, you can say hi, it's not that it's.

00:45:58.681 --> 00:46:02.507
I'm just being respectful because I was taught to do that.

00:46:02.507 --> 00:46:04.728
Okay, that's it Not a big deal?

00:46:04.728 --> 00:46:10.226
Then you can just change it when needed and according to the circumstances, and then we're going to be fine.

00:46:10.226 --> 00:46:15.460
But if you are unaware, when you cannot name it, then you cannot do anything about that.

00:46:15.460 --> 00:46:17.041
You cannot tame it.

00:46:17.061 --> 00:46:17.601
Yes, no.

00:46:17.601 --> 00:46:28.545
I think what I love the most is the awareness, and for me, I've learned that if I just slow down a little bit, my awareness will spike.

00:46:28.545 --> 00:46:32.945
But if I'm running 100 miles an hour all the time, guess what's not happening.

00:46:32.945 --> 00:46:36.367
I am not aware of myself at all.

00:46:37.447 --> 00:46:43.969
And we go back to the cruise control right, as useful as it is, stop it every once in a while, and you can.

00:46:43.969 --> 00:47:04.036
I mean, I talk about cultural cruise control, but we can talk about anything, because sometimes we're just doing putting out fires left and right without stopping, without hey, what's going on, without engaging in reflective practice, what information am I getting, and what is that information telling me about?

00:47:04.036 --> 00:47:11.539
Things might have to be done differently, but that craziness of life is we have to stop sometimes, right?

00:47:13.400 --> 00:47:14.682
Yes, 100% Now you.

00:47:14.682 --> 00:47:17.268
So you and I connected you.

00:47:17.268 --> 00:47:22.103
I know you connected with my sister, jennifer Lacey, connected with Megan.

00:47:22.103 --> 00:47:24.668
You've traveled, you've come in from another country.

00:47:24.668 --> 00:47:27.204
I have a friend, her name's Anessa.

00:47:27.204 --> 00:47:28.409
I haven't talked to her in years.

00:47:28.608 --> 00:47:31.920
Nessa and Estella I met them in salsa class.

00:47:31.920 --> 00:47:34.826
Oh cool, oh yeah, it was amazing.

00:47:34.826 --> 00:47:40.443
It's a long time ago and they just traveled all over the place, like they just met people.

00:47:40.443 --> 00:47:41.788
I was like, wow, y'all are.

00:47:41.788 --> 00:47:43.291
I want to be like y'all when I grow up.

00:47:43.291 --> 00:47:45.347
And now I'm a little more like that.

00:47:45.347 --> 00:47:47.637
You have decided to intentionally.

00:47:47.637 --> 00:47:48.601
It's what it looks like to me.

00:47:48.601 --> 00:47:58.271
It looks like you said you know what I want to connect with these people in this space and I'm going to go do it and you're doing it now.

00:47:58.271 --> 00:48:04.045
That is terrifying for the majority of people in general.

00:48:04.045 --> 00:48:13.826
And then if I zoom in for women in general, and then if I zoom in for Latinas, it's like more and more profound that you're doing this.

00:48:13.826 --> 00:48:32.652
And so what I think might be helpful for folks is how did you get, how do you think about what you're doing in those terms, like you're not necessarily the work that you do, your expertise, but just putting yourself out there to connect with people.

00:48:32.652 --> 00:48:34.000
How do you do that?

00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:35.724
How do you get the courage to do that?

00:48:36.264 --> 00:48:50.715
It's funny, right, because it doesn't seem courageous when I do it, but when I think about it I'm like, oh, and when I think, when I go into my reflective practice, right, and I think about me and my life, I was an extremely shy little girl.

00:48:50.715 --> 00:48:52.827
I was a shy little girl.

00:48:52.827 --> 00:49:00.021
So this is what happens, and I hope people listen to this, especially the younger Age.

00:49:00.021 --> 00:49:07.505
Years of experience is amazing because it gives a different perspective, right, different way of like hey, you know what?

00:49:07.505 --> 00:49:08.981
Nothing happened Suddenly.

00:49:08.981 --> 00:49:10.005
Only good things happen.

00:49:10.619 --> 00:49:14.791
So I always want to condense time for others.

00:49:14.791 --> 00:49:18.971
If it took me 10 years for me and I wanted to take it in three, right.

00:49:18.971 --> 00:49:42.489
So that's a lot of things that I do, but what makes me do it is that I have definitely age has given me wisdom to understand that there are very few things that are permanent and that, generally speaking, people are doing their best and that they are going to help you.

00:49:42.489 --> 00:49:50.282
If they don't help you, it's because at that time they can't, or they are too busy or too engaged in something else, or whatever.

00:49:50.282 --> 00:49:50.806
It's not.

00:49:50.806 --> 00:49:52.987
I've learned not to take it personally.

00:49:52.987 --> 00:49:59.507
I've learned that they are doing really their best, and a lot has to do with my coaching school.

00:49:59.507 --> 00:50:17.302
Of course, coaching changes you as well, but I think that it just I have this feeling that nothing bad is going to happen, it's going to work out and that if I go out and connect with people, even if it's one conversation, I'm going to gain something out of that.

00:50:17.302 --> 00:50:21.389
Nothing is there to lose, nothing is going to gain something out of that.

00:50:21.389 --> 00:50:23.132
Sure, nothing is there to lose.

00:50:23.132 --> 00:50:23.614
Nothing is going to.

00:50:23.614 --> 00:50:24.355
No one is going.

00:50:24.355 --> 00:50:25.737
What is the worst that can happen?

00:50:25.737 --> 00:50:37.411
So I think that keeps me moving and I want other people to start thinking and hearing these ideas so they can start doing that extra thing, taking that extra risk, taking that, and do it Really.

00:50:37.592 --> 00:50:45.913
There are very few things that are permanent and when we're being authentic and where we are connecting, we're just connecting.

00:50:45.913 --> 00:50:47.244
Hey, I'm knocking the door.

00:50:47.244 --> 00:50:48.248
Are you going to open the door?

00:50:48.248 --> 00:50:51.581
Fine, if not, okay, I'll try again another day, but it is.

00:50:51.581 --> 00:51:03.648
I understand sometimes we have a lot of fears of rejection, but once you start doing it, you develop the habit and you're like hey, you know what I think also, you change your attitude.

00:51:03.648 --> 00:51:05.766
Also, it's like nothing, but it's going to happen.

00:51:05.766 --> 00:51:08.304
They might say no, but if you say no, okay, what next?

00:51:08.304 --> 00:51:10.289
I mean Next exactly?

00:51:10.289 --> 00:51:11.192
I don't know.

00:51:11.192 --> 00:51:11.773
I mean, I don't know.

00:51:11.773 --> 00:51:18.753
I did a very good job explaining, but I think it's this combination of like why not what's?

00:51:18.773 --> 00:51:19.755
the best that can happen.

00:51:20.579 --> 00:51:35.492
Yeah, no, I think you did do a great job because it is a mindset, I mean the two things that I, the little simple frameworks that I use for this kind of situation, because people say, like my mom, she's, like you're crazy, like the things that you do and the things that you say.

00:51:35.492 --> 00:51:46.023
You put it all out there, like yeah, you know it'll be fine.

00:51:46.023 --> 00:51:47.047
So two things is this one failure is not fatal.

00:51:47.047 --> 00:51:48.190
If I fail, I ain't going to die.

00:51:48.190 --> 00:51:49.554
I'll be like, I'm going to learn from it.

00:51:49.554 --> 00:51:54.025
The other thing is I get to choose between rejection or regret.

00:51:54.025 --> 00:52:04.471
I will take rejection all day, every day, because regretting always come for me, always come from not taking the step or making the ask.

00:52:04.471 --> 00:52:07.257
Rejection next.

00:52:07.257 --> 00:52:08.079
Who do I talk to next?

00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:08.621
You don't like me?

00:52:08.621 --> 00:52:09.382
Good, who's next?

00:52:09.422 --> 00:52:23.688
Yeah, it's a gradual process because, not because I reach out to you and to Colleen and to Megan and to Jennifer I mean, I reach out to Jen what I'm like that day, I think I'm going to be in Dallas tomorrow, can I see you?

00:52:23.688 --> 00:52:26.286
Things like that and so I'm going up in that.

00:52:26.286 --> 00:52:26.746
Let's do it.

00:52:26.746 --> 00:52:27.409
Let's do it Connect.

00:52:27.409 --> 00:52:30.889
And there's some other areas where I'm like, no, I don't.

00:52:31.010 --> 00:52:43.710
Yeah, there's not a straight line and not everything moves at the same rhythm.

00:52:43.710 --> 00:52:46.699
Don't feel like, hey, but I can't talk to Jennifer Lacey out of the blue, but oh my God, I cannot do a webinar, for example, right?

00:52:46.699 --> 00:52:52.170
So don't expect everything to move at the same rhythm, in the same direction.

00:52:52.170 --> 00:53:06.853
So we have to understand that there's two steps ahead and maybe one step to the side, one step behind, and so all these things, and I want especially these young people to understand that.

00:53:06.853 --> 00:53:08.125
So don't be scared.

00:53:08.125 --> 00:53:16.632
If there are some areas when we don't feel because I feel them as well right, but I think there's a lot more to lose if not doing it than in doing.

00:53:18.302 --> 00:53:19.206
Yes, yes, yeah.

00:53:19.206 --> 00:53:20.309
Just give it a shot.

00:53:20.309 --> 00:53:22.902
You'll get better on the next one.

00:53:22.902 --> 00:53:25.490
And I think you made a super important point.

00:53:25.490 --> 00:53:28.128
It's not all things move at the same rate.

00:53:28.128 --> 00:53:31.429
It's okay to be great at one thing and not great at the other thing.

00:53:31.429 --> 00:53:35.271
It's okay to be sprinting on one thing and then still thinking about the other.

00:53:35.271 --> 00:53:38.242
Give yourself some grace, it's going to be okay.

00:53:38.242 --> 00:53:43.994
So if people want to work with you, where do we send them, dr Alejandra?

00:53:45.139 --> 00:53:46.463
We send them to.

00:53:46.463 --> 00:53:51.130
I spend a lot of time on LinkedIn and I have my website.

00:53:51.130 --> 00:53:56.367
So one of the my yeah, my website, and we can put it there later.

00:53:56.367 --> 00:54:00.264
So, but LinkedIn and my website are my two, the two places where they can find me.

00:54:00.264 --> 00:54:04.717
I'm there and I always respond to people.

00:54:04.717 --> 00:54:06.224
I always respond to people.

00:54:06.224 --> 00:54:08.878
I have people like, hey, I'm going to be there, I need to talk to you.

00:54:08.878 --> 00:54:10.081
I haven't seen you in three years.

00:54:10.081 --> 00:54:11.003
Text me.

00:54:11.003 --> 00:54:20.103
Here's my number, text me and I'm like come on, but I'm always there I love to work with.

00:54:20.103 --> 00:54:22.771
I'm very interested in construction.

00:54:22.771 --> 00:54:26.210
Again, it's something that is also kind of a newish side for me.

00:54:26.210 --> 00:54:32.271
I'm very interested, I love to work with people who work in real projects, I think.

00:54:32.271 --> 00:54:34.067
So that's the way I see it.

00:54:34.067 --> 00:54:37.467
So I'm open for any kind of conversation.

00:54:37.686 --> 00:54:40.293
Please reach out Good, good, okay.

00:54:40.293 --> 00:54:43.389
So we'll make sure we have that information in the show notes.

00:54:43.389 --> 00:54:50.105
Y'all need to reach out to Dr Alejandra For the very least to say I know a doctor, I have a doctor in my team.

00:54:50.105 --> 00:54:55.231
That's what I'm doing For the Grand Slam final question Okay.

00:54:55.231 --> 00:55:03.121
Slam, final question, okay.

00:55:03.121 --> 00:55:16.050
So I love, totally appreciate, like your adventurous spirit, the cultures and careers and industries that you've learned to adapt into quickly, and the connections that you've made with people in terms of helping them understand that they're not defective.

00:55:16.050 --> 00:55:24.309
And so the little that I know about you suggest to me that what you're going to answer, what your answer is going to be, is going to be pretty damn profound.

00:55:24.309 --> 00:55:30.371
And so here's the question what is the promise you are intended to be?

00:55:31.521 --> 00:55:32.503
I want to.

00:55:32.503 --> 00:55:47.972
The promise that I'm intended to be is to help more and more people develop those people skills that we need in this world, Because if not, if we don't have them, it's a very hard world to live in.

00:55:47.972 --> 00:55:50.168
So I want to contribute to that.

00:55:50.168 --> 00:55:55.751
There's a little bit of thing about me that I was never taught directly.

00:55:55.751 --> 00:55:59.318
I had to learn on my own that I was never taught directly, had to learn on my own.

00:55:59.318 --> 00:56:08.608
And if I can help other people learn those so they can have better interactions in the workplace and there's a lot of success and a lot of satisfaction that they're going to feel.

00:56:08.608 --> 00:56:10.911
So if I can contribute to that, that would be very cool.

00:56:12.217 --> 00:56:12.679
Oh, my goodness.

00:56:12.679 --> 00:56:15.164
So you're already doing it, you're just going to do more of it.

00:56:15.505 --> 00:56:16.248
I'm doing more.

00:56:16.248 --> 00:56:31.409
Oh, there is a lot of time, a lot of things that I have to do, so still, yes, there's a lot about also working across countries, like really work across countries, be able to go and do some of this in Mexico, and so that's also another big thing that I want to keep in mind.

00:56:31.409 --> 00:56:43.809
But, yeah, definitely, and I think the promise I mean the more I think about that as I'm talking, it's like just enlighten people, give them the knowledge, the how, help them see.

00:56:43.809 --> 00:56:48.813
It's very frustrating when you kind of understand there's something there but you cannot see Something.

00:56:48.813 --> 00:56:50.675
I cannot see, like I cannot really get it.

00:56:50.675 --> 00:56:51.275
What is it?

00:56:51.275 --> 00:57:01.846
It's not working, something is not right and there's a lot of heaviness in that, and I want to remove that heaviness so they can understand hey, we can do this, there's skills that I can learn.

00:57:03.041 --> 00:57:04.346
Oh, I love that.

00:57:04.346 --> 00:57:15.114
Oh my, you're a guide, a light enabling people, supporting people, catapulting people into a higher quality of life Amazing.

00:57:15.822 --> 00:57:16.525
Did you have fun?

00:57:16.525 --> 00:57:18.349
I had a great time.

00:57:18.349 --> 00:57:22.309
I had a great time, I had a great time and I love chatting and talking to people.

00:57:22.309 --> 00:57:29.447
So thank you, jesse, for having me, and it's been a pleasure to get to know you better and I learned a lot from you.

00:57:29.447 --> 00:57:34.887
A lot from you and thank you for opening your spaces for me.

00:57:34.887 --> 00:57:36.650
It's been a pleasure, thank you.

00:57:37.231 --> 00:57:41.047
Yes, thank you for sticking it out all the way to the end.

00:57:41.047 --> 00:57:53.688
I know you got a whole lot of stuff going on and, in appreciation for the gift of time that you have given this episode, I want to offer you a free PDF of my book Becoming the Promise You're Intended to Be.

00:57:53.688 --> 00:57:56.445
The link for that bad boy is down in the show notes.

00:57:56.445 --> 00:57:56.827
Hit it.

00:57:56.827 --> 00:58:02.922
You don't even have to give me your email address.

00:58:02.922 --> 00:58:03.583
There's a link in there.

00:58:03.583 --> 00:58:04.684
You just click that and you can download the PDF.

00:58:04.684 --> 00:58:14.367
And if you share it with somebody that you know who might feel stuck or be caught up in self-destructive behaviors, that would be the ultimate you sharing.

00:58:14.367 --> 00:58:19.474
That increases the likelihood that it's going to help one more person.

00:58:19.474 --> 00:58:32.751
And if it does help one more person, then you're contributing to me becoming the promise I am intended to be Be kind to yourself, be cool, and we'll talk at you next time.